I am standing at the VIP area inside of the arena as i watch him perform and showcase his talent to everyone around the world. I couldnt avoid my eyes from tearing up as he sing and dance infront of everybody. He had worked so effin hard for this. His muscles grew and had a perfect shape that im dying to touch, he's even taller than the last time i saw him or perhaps im just imagining things right now. He has changed. The way he moved, sing, dance, talk even. He was no longer the Elmo that i knew. He's a complete Elmo Magalona now. The changed, the matured, the other version of him.
He's singing his last song now and as part of the finale, he unbottoned his jacket and walk too near at the platform where i was standing. He performed his last song and showed his very best and the crowd goes wild. Their hands were all up as he walked towards us. Suddenly, his eyes caught mine and i felt like my world froze for awhile. He smiled at me. For the first time in three years, i finally saw him smiling at me again. My jaw fell as what happened earlier kept flashing in my mind. And then without my notice, the curtains were finally closed and everyone was all freaking out and reacting how awesome this night was. I smiled sadly as i made my way back to my car and drove to our favorite coffee shop.
"Miss Julie, anong oras na po ah. Bakit andito pa po kayo sa labas?" Manang Linda, one of the server in the coffee shop came near me to take my order.
I smiled and greeted her hi after i found our favorite place. "May pinanood po kasi akong concert," I even added.
"Aaaah," She nodded and took out the wet and dry cloth and clean the table for me.
"Your usual orders po?" She asked and i looked at her abruptly.
I smiled sadly for the second time tonight and informed her that im all alone. After taking it, she moved to the counter and punched my order. Without taking a long minutes, i finally have my favorite coffee mixed with magic as i excitedly took a sip and wrapped my fingers around my cup to warm my cold hand.
I looked around the coffee shop and realized that 1) the ambiance was different, must probably because of the darker lighting of the place, 2) i think there were only 10 customers around me and 3), they are all partners.
I sighed as different emotions hits me again that made me think of some memories i had with him for the last time years and years back before he left.
• • •
After performing onstage, that noon time show, i head straight to my dressing room to change my gown into my favorite sweatpants and oversized hoodie plus my sneaks. I know its weird to imagine me wearing such but people around me, who truly know the real me, get used to my look. I took out my phone and my car keys as i made my way out of the studio leaving all the fans out there. I have met them earlier in between prods and they were very supportive and vigorously cheered every time i am performing and that always leave a beautiful smile on my face.
I sighed as i reached the place where i feel so safe. I finally open the double door with all my force and a bright sky welcomed me. I smiled upon walking out the vast space and sat in the corner as i free my mind from everything.
The silence grew and i thankfully calm my mind for awhile. I hugged my bended knees tightly as i shut my eyes and all of a sudden, tears running down my face. For so long, i kept words that i couldnt voice out and it always lead me to this. I knew that i couldnt take it anymore but still, i always wanted to remain quiet.
"Julie," a familiar voice clearly rung into my ears and my tears ooze down my face for more. No. Not until here. I wish that voice stops bugging me. I dont wanna hear it anymore. It was too much. I couldnt take another wave of a pain anymore.
