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001 // colors

I was weak, and I loved her cowardly.

She was strong, independent, yet she had shadows so dark that I couldn't see them. She was in a dark place. So I painted her a world of her own. A world of our own. And in that world I painted her colors filed with lies and delusions that covered the truth, all to comfort my own cowardice. At first everything was great, everything was bright and happy. Just how I wanted it to be. She was happy, her world was brighter, and her horizon wider. And in turn I was happy as well.

Unfortunately, colors fade.

There would be times, she thought I didn't see her but I did. There wee times when I would see her break down and cry. I didn't think much of it at first, I was too scared. I didn't want to break whatever spell we had ourselves on. So I ignored it, since it didn't last more than a few minutes, and became oblivious to the truth that she was broken. I ignored it, until minutes tuned into hours, hours turned to days, and days turned to weeks. The days went by and the world I painted for us faded, the colors faded. Just like us. And in the end, up until now, I find myself haunted by my lies and her truth.

I loved her cowardly, yet I love her more than my own life. I love her so much, yet I want her to have better.

And that's you.