"Who are you? What makes you, you?"
The words keep echoing in my mind, blinding me with each slap of my boot against the wet cobble stoned ground. It's a sick game of mental ping pong, making it harder to find my way to shelter from the rain. Smack. "Who are you?" Smack. "What makes you, " smack. "You?" Who are you? Who are you? Why haven't you figured this out yet Evelyn? Why is this so hard to answer Evelyn? Who are you Evelyn? Who are you?
At last! A door appears and I rush inside, not bothering to check what building I was even running into. I just had to get away. Get away from the smacking of my boots on the cobblestone, from the voices in my head that just won't shut up, from the crushing weight of the day.
Slamming the door behind me I lean back against it, letting my eyes close and my weight rest against the cool glass. Breathing in deeply I instantly know where I am, I could distinguish trade mark scents right away; dust, paper, and the always familiar smell of old wood. The book store. I ran into the bookstore, how cliché can I get honestly? I let out a small laugh that grows much larger when I start to reflect on my day so far and how it truly sucks.
"Are you okay miss?" A voice pulls me back into reality, my eyes reluctantly open to see the boy behind the cash register staring at me with wide eyes and genuine concern.
"Me? Oh I'm fine, was just dying to read some books." I give him a slight smile and begin to peruse the long aisles, their shelves stacked high to the ceiling brimming with cracked spines and rubbed leather. Running my fingers over the spines of book after book I stops on a familiar title, Pride and Prejudice. One of my favourite books, by my favourite author, Jane Austen.
"Oh Jane," I whisper, certainly not helping the boy at the register not think I'm totally insane. Thumbing through the pages and thinking back to the numerous times I've read every word in this book something prevents the pages from flowing seamlessly under my thumb. Turning the book upside down I decide to give it a little shake, and down flutters a blank white business card, almost in slow motion it silently drifts to the floor.
Nothing to interesting about that, bummer. I've killed enough time in here already, and probably completely freaked out that poor boy, trying to put off the inevitable. With a massive sigh and roll of my eyes I leave the comforting arms of the bookstore, each page calling out to me, begging me to stay and wrap myself in its deliciously distracting pages. Stay Evelyn! They call. You don't need to go back to reality! They cry out as I pass shelf after shelf on my way to the door, I don't dare let myself look at the titles on the spines as I pass. Looking at the titles would result in me staying here forever and read my life away, never to go home again.
You know, that doesn't sound too bad...
No, you can't think like that. Be rational for heaven's sake! My conscious shouts at me in a familiar tone. Suddenly my thoughts are filled with images of my mother.
I know realistically I have to go home, no matter how long I put it off my reception will be the same. I will have to explain what happened this morning, listen to a lecture or two, face the repercussions, and try to figure out what in God's name I'm going to do with my life now.
Worst of all though, I'll will have no choice but to watch the disappointment play across my mother and father's faces. "The trials and tribulations of Evelyn Rathbone" a tragedy, written and directed by some men with a sick sense of humour, starring Evelyn Rathbone as herself. Charles and Helen Rathbone playing the roles of Disappointed and Dissatisfied, dedicated to Evangeline Rathbone, the true Saint herself. My pitiful and characteristically dramatic thoughts are interrupted by a tap on my shoulder.
"Hello dear, I believe you dropped this." Turning around I'm met with the most pleasant of faces. Behind me stands an older gentleman with a thick head of white hair, rosy red cheeks, and a pair of blue eyes behind two circle lenses that just gleamed with knowledge .
"I'm sorry, I don't think I dropped anything." I reply with a pleasant smile and turn around back on my death march. An icy hand wraps around mine though, not matching the face I saw just moments ago, I slowly turn around this time.
"No, I am quite sure you did." I feel a hard piece of paper inside my plan now and the old man's icy hand leaves mine.
"Well, good evenin' to ya." Now he was the one who turned and left.
Poor guy has probably gone mad completely out of his mind. I'm far too concerned with my own trouble that lay ahead to even start speculating what that was about. Though I'm sure it'd make for quite the distraction, pocketing the strange piece of paper I go home.
YOU ARE READING
Hidden In Shadows
Historical FictionEvelyn has gone a majority of her life in shadows. First in the shadow of her late sister Evangeline, and now when she is thrown into the most bizarre of games she'll have to learn about an all new kind of living in shadows. Exposing the truths behi...