Sacrificial Lamb

chapter 1

HEY GUYS!
I know what you're thinking....but im already 1/3 of the way already lol it's going to be 30,000 words and ive already wrote over 10,200 of those! :p this is a lovely story, but its JUST a story. Any stupid comments will be deleted! The girl above is my life role model...her name is Bianca :)  shes playing the lovely Haven in this book! :) read on and enjoy
Unedited- will be edited and published in the future.

Lucifer's POV

"So there I was right. I was just sittin' there mindin' my own damn business and here comes my asshole of a brother. So there I was, ya know, stoned as fuck, with a few angels on my hips and my brother, God, comes' along with his bullshit. Wanna know what he said?" I swallow the vodka shot in front of me and slam the glass down. "I'll tell ya what he said, he said Lucifer, you are a huge disappointment and I'm sorry but we, as a whole, have decided to banish you to hell... So here I am, floating on a literal cloud and my ass gets dropped. Literally. I fall from the cloud and slam through the ground. That's when the humans thought a meteor hit earth and destroyed the dinosaurs. Nope, that was me. Later on I decided to create you beings to help banish the loneliness." I wave at the waiter and motion for her to bring more shots. I blink my red eyes as the brunette brings by the whole bottle. Smart girl.

"I haven't talked to God in over 70 billion years. Jesus, our youngest brother, try's to contact me all the time, but you know, I don't want to hear his ass blabbing on about shit. Can you believe he even came to earth before? Yeah he tried to persuade me to come home. Nah, I aint for that shit." I unscrew the cap and down a few gulps of the now tasteless liquid. "He started fucking drugging all the humans and made them believe he was some huge entity. Made em think he changed water to wine, walked on water, and split a couple fish between thousands. He's about as bad as our dad, you guys don't know this but God has a dad. I can't remember him much but I think his name was Herman? Maybe Herald? I have no idea. The only one who remembers him is God and he refused to speak about him since he was a tad...crazy." I look down at my short claws and smile at the thoughts running in my mind.

"I think his craziness rubbed off on us a bit..." I look up at the small cat, watching as it licks its paws and gives me sideways glances. I down the rest of the vodka quickly and slam the empty bottle down on the table.

"Well it was nice talking to you, Sir." I salute to the cat, accidently poking my hand with one of the horns on my forehead. I turn around gracelessly (Because I'm Satan...get it?) and start wobbling towards the door.

"Come again soon, Luke." I wave at the bartender, O'Malley, and exit the place I visit frequently. They seem to be use to my odd habits by now thankfully. The first time I came in they threw me out because I kept talking to a roach, which was listening, might I add. I scratched at my chest and let out astounding burp, drawing the attention of a few passer-byers. I made my way to the woods and leaned my head against one of the trees.

"Psst...Bernard..."

"Yes, master?" I watch as one of the trees shrinks and forms into my butler.

"Cans you take me home, buddy?" I slur over my words and grin as the corner of Bernard's lips twitch into a smile. I watched as colors blurred around us and soon we landed in my room. It was a refreshing 4000 degrees, which was a big difference from 74 degrees back on earth. I grabbed onto the wall and stumbled over to my bed. I chuckled as Bernard grabbed my arm and helped me over. He helped me lay down and I struggled with covering up my legs. Once I had shit under control I looked up at my butler.

"I love you man." Bernard raised an eyebrow and coughed awkwardly.

"How much did you drink tonight, sir?"

"Not enough since you're not tapping this ass." I snorted with amusement as Bernard's face lit up red. "Come on Bernard, you know my favorite past time is making you blush."