Doorways to Everywhere (Tourist Trap Book 2)

Chapter 22

Zeke looked out the porthole at the alien landscape whizzing by beneath them. It seemed to consist largely of splotches of red and purple, with just a little bit of snot-green mixed in.

Sadie was looking out the porthole next to him. "Cool," she said with her mouth hanging slightly ajar. "I always wanted to cruise around in a flying saucer."

"I can't say I sat around dreaming of this or anything, but it's kind of neat," Zeke acknowledged.

Nulfar turned and smiled at them. "This vessel is the very unit in which we abducted you, Earthman."

"Uh, I'm not sure what to think about that," Zeke said. "Cool, I guess."

Nulfar frowned. "But where is your spouse? Did you not wish to share this spectacular experience with your soul mate?"

"Milosh and I are pursuing different interests at the moment," Zeke said. He had barely managed to sneak away on this expedition without the overbearing alien discovering his whereabouts. He planned on fully enjoying his "me" time.

"How fast can this baby go?" Sadie asked.

"Theoretically it can go very fast," Nulfar said. "Much faster than the fastest Earth aircraft ever devised. Of course that goes without saying since your technology is so laughably primitive. We prefer to keep the speed on the medium setting when cruising around for safety reasons."

"Can I try flying it?" Sadie asked.

"That would be a violation of code number XJ6666666666666666666666664."

"Aw, come on," Sadie pouted.

"Well I suppose you could take the controls for a little bit," Nulfar shrugged.

"Awesome!" Sadie said as she jumped into the pilot's seat and grabbed the steering handles. "This is the sweetest thing ever."

"You seem to have a knack for piloting the saucer," Nulfar said.

"I've played many hours of video games in my day," Sadie said. "This is a piece of cake. Say, do you think we could abduct some of the native life forms?"

"Indeed we can," Nulfar said. "Our sensors indicate there is an individual nearby. You'll need to slow down so we do not go whizzing past him."

She pressed on a large red button labeled "brakes" and the saucer slowed down noticeably. Looking through the viewport she spotted a tall purple humanoid figure running frantically away from the spacecraft that had appeared suddenly overhead. She pushed the tractor beam button and the fleeing alien was bathed in a bright light and then sucked up into the hold. "Got him!" Sadie smiled. "That was oddly satisfying. Can I capture another one?"

"It appears there are some other life forms not too far from here," Nulfar said while consulting a screen. "Let us go investigate."

"Hey Zeke, you want to try steering this thing?" Sadie asked. "It's fun."

"It looks kind of complicated," Zeke said.

"What's the matter, are you afraid?"

"No, of course not," Zeke said. "Get out of the driver's seat, woman." No sooner had he sat down than his head began to feel a little funny. "Hey how come everything's spinning around?"