Pull Me Up (a destiel au fanfic)

chapter 27

I stood, completely frozen, mouth wide open. Cas called to me from the doorway, but I couldn't understand him. I couldn't understand anything.

Then every bone in my body turned limp, and I fell to my knees. My breath was caught in my throat, and my hand was still up near my head, outlined in the shape of the now forgotten cell phone.

At first what I felt was a numbing, hollow emptiness in my chest, then I felt Cas's hand on my back, then my face and everything hurt while nothing hurt at all. My vision was black, and then my eyes filled with tears.

"No," I whispered, unable to utter more than a syllable.

"Dean, what's going on?" he demanded, kneeling in front of me. He reached for the phone dropped by my bed. "Who is this- Alex? Why are you calling, what's goi-" he paused for a moment and my knees dropped so I was sitting on my feet, mouth still open. "What are you talking about? Is she okay?" He was silent, then his eyes turned to mine. His voice broke, "Wh-what?"

A strangled sob escaped my lips, and I buried my face in my hands, muttering over and over, "No, no, no."

That couldn't be right. Alex was lying.

This was a cruel, drunken prank being pulled by her parents and their boy toy. They were just joking.

"No, she... no," he said, sounding hoarse. I looked up at him and his whole face was neutral, still kneeling in front of me. Without another word, he grabbed me and pulled me up and clutched me, sobs coming from my mouth.

My entire body was shaking.

It wasn't true. She wasn't gone.

She couldn't be gone.

This would ruin Charlie.

Ruin David.

I wouldn't be able to go on. Not again.

Not again.

"Dean," he whispered, putting his hands on either side of my assumed red face. He cried. Tears rolled down his face. "This is my fault," he said, his voice strangled and hoarse. "All my fault."

I'd never seen Castiel cry before.

I'd never seen him show a lick of emotion and that alone was enough to ruin me.

There was knocking on my door.

The empty pain struck me again, forcing me to clutch the edge of my bed for support in my agony.

"Dean? Cas? Everything alright?" Charlie's voice rang through the door.

We locked eyes, and I felt another round of tears force their way down my face. The knob turned.

Everything happened slowly.

Charlie walked in, followed by David, hovering almost a foot above her.

"Woah, guys? What's going on?" she put up a hand to block Cas's bare back from her view. I just then remembered that he was dressed in only a towel.

"I-" I began, cut off by my own throat betraying me.

"What happened?" she rushed the words out, her mouth stumbling over them as she ran over to us. David remained in the doorway, paling immediately before we'd even said anything.

When I looked up to meet her eyes, my body still shuddering involuntarily, she put a hand to her mouth. "No," she whispered into it.

I looked back to Cas, who's face was buried into the blanket on my bed, hands fisted into the sheets. He was sobbing practically uncontrollably now, shaking as well. I looked back up to Charlie.