Avantika And Her Quest

Some Hope Makes A Steely Resolve

I could see that Avantika was exhausted. We reached my kingdom in half a day, as we didn't have an entourage and we didn't stop anywhere. I knew my father would help her but I didn't know what price he would demand from her for his help. We demanded an audience with the king, he agreed even though it was time for him to retire for the day.

Avantika explained the day's events to him, and he looked extremely upset since his best friend had died. I couldn't understand his reaction or predict his next course of action. It was the first time I had seen him display this kind of emotion. He agreed to help Avantika and granted her permission to stay in Magadha until she decided a course of action, but I could see the calculating look he gave Avantika. He was her father's friend, so I didn't think the courtesy extended to her, especially since she was a woman. Uncle Suryakant and Avantika were shown to their rooms. I saw how weary she was as she retired to her quarters in the palace. My very heart seemed to break in response to her pain, and every fiber in my body pushed me to wrap my arms around her and protect her from the world. But I knew that she would want some space and I had to figure out why I felt that way towards her. "It's just because she is a friend, you would feel the same way for anyone," I told myself. But my subconscious seemed to question me wickedly, "would you?" That question echoed in my head the entire night.

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The screams echoed in my head. I was running, I didn't know from what. I was just running. My heart was pounding, my feet were tiring and each time I wanted to stop my father's scream would push me farther. My father whispered, "go...go..Avantika, escape..." and his being seemed to vanish, I tried in vain to hold on. I screamed, "father...no". My mother then appeared and patted my cheek with a sad smile and whispered, "I'll buy you some time," I tried to grab her arm but she vanished too. The soldier's seemed to circle me, "look what you have done, look," he yelled. I watched as the entire battlefield went up in flames, corpses were littered everywhere and the wails of widows reverberated in my very being. "Look what you've done, princess. A prince would have never left, you are cowardly, cowardly," he hissed before his head was sliced off and landed in my lap. His eyes glared at me hauntingly, lifelessly.

I was woken up by my own screams. My throat was raw and scratchy. After that, how much ever I tried, I could not sleep. It wasn't the first time I was here. I came here so often that Arjun had reserved a chamber for me in the east wing next to the gardens. I lay there just staring at the ceiling. As the first rays of sun filtered into my room, I woke up as just laying there was unproductive. I looked into the mirror and saw the face of a ghost. My skin had lost color, my hair was haphazardly scattered about my face and my eyes had no shine. Grime and blood coated my skin making me look even more horrific. I took a shower as I remembered my mother's words: "whatever may happen, a princess must dress like one and display a smile. That is your true weapon. Men will always underestimate you, take advantage of it."

I decided to consult Uncle Suryakant as to what would be the best course of action. He dedicated himself to designing a battle strategy and deciding our allies. He busied himself with work for the next few days. The death of my father had hit him much harder than I realized, and only a promise kept him from giving up his life and joining father. The promise my father extracted from him as he was dying. The promise made by him to protect me. Neither he nor I asked for his wellness because we both knew the pain was too much for us.

Lost in my train of thought, I did not realize that Arjun had been calling me: "Avantika...... Avantika...." He shook me to attention, and then I stared at him for a few seconds. He grinned as usual and said, "if you would stop daydreaming, we could plan our next move." I shot him a piercing glance and walked toward Uncle Suryakant's chambers. One could always trust Arjun to be nonchalant even in grim situations. I knocked on the door, and a whistling Arjun followed me.

Arjun has been the closest friend I had ever had and was my true confidante. Our minister had always considered it inappropriate for me to associate so closely with him but my father trusted him and never stopped me. Arjun never underestimated my abilities because of my gender, and whenever the pampered princesses of our realm belittled me, he would always be next to me to distract them. Although I never understood why they fawned over him like that. I said it was only because of his wealth and power, but he claimed it was because of his irresistible good looks. He never let go of any opportunity to remind me of his Gandharva-like looks. The princesses could never relate to me, I was too different for them. Their talks of marriage and suitors never interested me, and my talks of weapons and politics likewise did not interest them. Uncle opened the door and I stepped in.

I knew this was not going to be a pleasant meeting, so I did my best to gather all my courage and will. Uncle looked up as soon as we entered. We soon discussed our ability to win back my kingdom by going to war against the kingdom of Chetiya. We realized that it was impossible; men would never accept my leadership or fight in my name and I was against tricking the kingdom like a coward. Time was of the essence as we couldn't let the Chetiya king establish his rule. I went back with a very troubled mind. I decided to walk in the gardens for some peace. I walked among the beautiful flowers in bloom, found a nice shady spot, and sat down. Under the tree, when the breeze started flowing, my eyes started drooping and I succumbed to my exhaustion.

I was running hard. The last words of my father echoed in my ears: "Go.....go........escape from here," I woke up with a start once again, but I couldn't run away from the fact that my kingdom had been captured. I could not forget. I allowed all the desperation and grief to come back to me in solitude. I depended on my parents for many things and now that they were no longer in this world, I did not know what to do. I always looked to them for guidance when I was upset or troubled. They always supported me and gave me good advice, but now when I needed them the most, they weren't there.

I was supposed to win back my kingdom and rule it well. I had no idea as to how I would manage to do all that. I let my facade fall and let the tears run down my face. I was angry at fate for snatching away my home as well as my parents. I was feeling overwhelmed with all my responsibilities but grateful for Arjun and Uncle Suryakant. They were the only reason why I had any semblance of control over the situation. My emotions were all over the place, and I was a mess. Suddenly, I felt soft footsteps approaching me, so I hastily tried to wipe away my tears.

I saw that Arjun was standing in front of me with a kind expression as he knew I hated pity. I felt comforted by his presence, but my pride still pushed me to hide my tears. As he saw me hiding my face, he said, "Avantika I know you want to appear strong, but I need you to know that it is fine to let go of the control expected of royals sometimes."

"Easy for you to say, when you have never lost control in your life," I childishly mumbled.

"How did you come up with this fact?" he asked me.

"Well, I have never seen you cry, or angry," or anything but mocking or expressionless.

"Are you sure about that?" he asked. "You are the only one who has seen me when I'm upset because of my father, scared when all your friends giggle around me and angry when I'm looked down upon for my birth. It is easy to forget when you lose control but you have never judged me and you can expect the same from me. Don't hide your emotions. They will be your greatest ally for what I had in mind."

My tears had stopped flowing, and his last sentence had piqued my curiosity. I looked at him questioningly and asked, "What did you have in mind, Arjun?"

He said, "I am still thinking about the details, but I think it could work." I was intrigued. "What is it? What could work? How will it work?" I asked him and he smirked at me. All he said was "Patience, young grasshopper!" I huffed in annoyance and walked away, but all I thought about was what the idea could be.

I decided then that I would do anything to win my kingdom back, even if I couldn't rule it. I would find a person who could rule it better. I looked at Arjun, who smiled reassuringly at me. I looked ahead and said, " Whatever may be your plan, Arjun, I will avenge my father. I will free my motherland." My desperation was replaced by a steely resolve. What I did not know then was at that moment, fate set into motion the events that would shape the destiny of our entire realm, of Aryavarta. 

Glossary:

Gandharva: Male heavenly beings regarded for their good-looks