Burned Intentions

Sudden Death

SKYLAR'S POV

What do you do when pain seems to be the only familiarity in your life? What's the point of seeking happiness when you know it won't last? Sometimes I wish I was the one writhing in pain. If only... Words that seem to haunt my dreams and taint my reality. If only I was the one in place of my mother, so that she can be the healthy and so I won't have to look at the fear in Jaydon's eyes. It scares him that his mother is in her room crying and screaming all because she can't handle the pain of her illness. The illness she has all because of me. He wouldn't have to watch his mother die right before his eyes, he is just too young for that.

She's fine, right? Jaydon says, Please tell me the truth Skyie, I'm old enough to know what's going on. S-She's sick isn't she? He looks at me with tears in his eyes.

She'll be fine Jay, trust me ok.

I can't seem to look at him, I can't break down now, I've been strong for too long to break down now.

SKYLAR! My mother shouts making both Jaydon and I jump.

Wait here, I'll be back.

I can see he is trying to protest, but I shake my head. Moving away from him, I run upstairs to my mother's room. As I swang the door open, a gasp escapes my lips.
The mother I see before me, isn't how I know her to be. She's pale and looks like she's a breathing corpse. The room smells of decomposition as though death is present.

You called? I gulp down the tears.

Come closer please, I don't want to shout.

I take a step closer feeling like I'm coming closer and closer to loosing my sanity, to loosing the grip I have on my emotions.

Sky I fear my time is near, as Dr. Marks said it's only about time that it will kill me.

My eyes start to sting. Pain is building up in my mind and escaping through my eyes.

Ma please don't say that, you can't leave us, you can't-

Shhhh, it will be alright, trust me.

I want to laugh at the irony of me using those exact same words on Jaydon a few minutes ago, but I can't seem to find the humour in it at the moment.

Now I have few things I must say. First of all, I love you and Jaydon to the death of me. Literally and I'm sorry for not being able to protect you from what you have experienced with your father. If-

No Ma, you did protect me from - sorry. The stern look she just gave me shut me up instantly.

Clearly my last dying breath is going to  be your final words for interrupting me. She chuckles. A smile took its place momentarily on my face.  As I was saying. If I hadn't gotten involved with him, we wouldn't be in this situation. I was young and naïve. I didn't realise the danger I put myself in and that of the family I would want in the future. she says.

She stops and looks behind me. Her face softens. I turn to see Jaydon. His body froze in place as she comes more into his view. A shaky breath leaves his lips.

Jaydon I thought I told you to stay downstairs. I say scowling at him.

As I walk towards him to take him back downstairs, my mom stops me and shakes her head.

Come here Jay. She whispers.

He obeys with tears rolling down his face. The warmth of his skin brushes against my body, almost radiating all the fear he has inside him.