Doorways to Everywhere (Tourist Trap Book 2)

Chapter 32

"Can we stop doing this now?" Zeke asked. "It's getting kind of boring."

"Five more minutes," Milosh said. Milosh had insisted they do exercises where they sat quietly and stared in each other's eyes. "Is good for relationship."

"You know, I've been doing some thinking about that," Zeke said. "We kind of rushed into this thing without really even getting to know each other. We come from two different worlds. Like, literally. Maybe we should take an extended break and sort of assess our feelings and see if this is what we really both want out of life."

"Milosh has been distant at times," Milosh said. "Is needing to spend more time with Zeke, not less."

"See, I was thinking you could use a little space. Take some time to figure out what it is that Milosh needs to become the best and most fulfilled Milosh that you can be."

Milosh's eyes glazed over for a minute and he was silent. Suddenly he shook his head and returned his gaze to Zeke. "Is spending alone time as we speak. Is sitting on top of mountain meditating. Is also walking on empty beach late at night staring at stars. Is also strolling through vast, barren desert contemplating self. Is figuring out what Milosh wants. Is also spending more time with Zeke."

"Okay, I have no idea what the hell you're talking about right now," Zeke said. "Look, you're a great guy. It's not you, it's me. I'm just not ready to be tied down right now. We can still be friends. I just think maybe we should get our own places."

"No get divorced," Milosh said emphatically. "Is bringing great shame on Milosh."

"We don't have to get divorced," Zeke said. "We can still be 'married,' I guess. I just think we should see other people. Maybe we can have, like, an open relationship."

"Oh ho ho, Milosh see now," Milosh laughed. "Is swinger? Is maybe looking for some three-way action?"

"No, no, nothing like that," Zeke said. "Any three-way action is not going to involve you and me."

"No understand," Milosh scratched his head. "Is wanting to watch while Milosh make love to someone else?"

"Uh, no," Zeke said. "I'm not sure where you got that idea from, but that's definitely a no go."

"Is wanting Milosh to watch while Zeke make love to someone else?"

"No, that would also be creepy," Zeke said. "Let's just get something straight here. There isn't going to be any kind of lovemaking that involves Zeke and Milosh at the same time, with or without other people."

"Is just wanting to cuddle?"

"No I don't really want to cuddle either," Zeke said. "I'm thinking strictly platonic relationship here. In the friend zone, so to speak."

"Is not understanding Zeke," Milosh said. "Is needing to work on communication issues. Is still thinking relationship counseling might be the way to go."

Zeke sighed. "Communication issues? I'm not sure how to be much clearer here."

The door to their room whooshed open and Nulfar strolled in carrying a couple of packages. "Greetings. I trust I am not interrupting a tender moment?"

"No, of course not," Zeke said.

"Shucks. Do let me know when you plan to mate. I would like to observe that. For science, of course."

"Ah," Milosh said. "Is wanting to watch while love is made."

"What the hell is with you weirdos and watching?" Zeke said. "There's no mating or lovemaking or fucking or whatever you want to call it going on here, and if there was there wouldn't be any watching involved, okay? What are you doing here anyway?"

"I have procured the socks and undergarments you requested," Nulfar said as he held forth the packages.

"Tighty-whities?" Zeke asked.

"Is there some problem?"

"I'm just more of a boxer man," Zeke said.

"I was given to understand that 'tighty-whities' offer more testicular support," Nulfar said. "I am afraid we did not acquire any boxers. If these are unacceptable I will have them incinerated."

"No, I'll take them," Zeke said as he snatched both of the packages out of Nulfar's hands. "We're not going to be stopping by any alien outlet malls or anything, by chance are we? Maybe I could get some boxers there."

"No, but we will be making a stop at a space station soon to refuel and pick up some supplies. Perhaps they will have something in stock you can use."

"In the meantime, tighty-whities it is," Zeke said. "Would you guys mind leaving the room for a bit so I can get changed?"

"But-"

"What the hell did I say about watching?" Zeke said. "Jeez, you guys have a serious problem. Now get the hell out of here and let a man change his underwear in peace."

Nulfar and Milosh shuffled out of the room and Zeke took the opportunity to put on a fresh pair of underwear. "A little snug, but at least they're clean." He opened up the package of socks and couldn't help but notice they were bright pink with big red hearts on them. "Oh, for crying out loud." Still they were better than no socks at all, so he let out a little sigh and pulled them on. At least he had some long pants to mostly cover them up.

The door whooshed open and Milosh stuck his head in. "Is finished changing?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm done."

"Good. Is still having three minutes to go on eye gazing exercise." Milosh sat on the bed next to Zeke, took both his hands in his, and resumed staring into Zeke's eyes.