Doorways to Everywhere (Tourist Trap Book 2)

Chapter 64

"You can't be serious," Max said. "That guy's like the opposite of a pussy magnet. He's like a pussy deflector."

"Maybe he's just got his female repulsor ray turned on," Zeke said. "I hear that sort of thing is known to happen."

"Eh, whatever," Max said. "This place is going to be packed. We'll ditch him in the crowd somewhere. No big deal. The important thing is, do we have the door that's programmed to take us to the strip club?"

"Dr. Octavius programmed it last night," Maurice said. "I've got it right here. It should be ready to go."

"Excellent," Max said. "So here's the plan. After all of us have gone through the door, Sarah's going to close it from this side and put it away. We don't want a big open doorway standing in the middle of the strip club that could alert the bouncers that we didn't pay the cover fee. Also we don't want the kind of weirdos that hang out in strip clubs to wander through the door and end up here in the lab. At the end of the night, we'll walk out the front door of the strip club and catch the Roto-Bus home."

"Right on, daddy-o," Sweaty Jim said and attempted to give Max a high five. "Come on, don't leave me hanging, bro."

"Yeah, I don't know where that hand's been," Max said. "A lot of people may find me disgusting, but even I have my limits." He looked at the door for a moment then turned to Zeke. "You know what? I don't think your stupid 'Z' door was a random door. I think it was a programmed door. 'Z' for Zyvax the Intergalactic Destroyer of Worlds. Not Zeke."

"Oh yeah," Zeke said. "Maybe you're right. Sorry. I'm still kind of new to this whole door thing."

"Cuthbert just got here," Timmy said. "We're all ready to go."

"Hey Cuthbert, what's up?" Sweaty Jim said.

"My man, Sweaty Jim," Cuthbert said as he gave him a fist bump.

"Have fun guys," Sarah called out. "Don't get into too much trouble."

"Since when do I ever get into trouble?" Max asked. "Trust me, this is going to be a smooth night of harmless fun for all involved. Now let's sneak into this strip club."

"You know, I haven't been to a strip club since the last time you took me to one," Zeke said. "Which, come to think of it, didn't turn out so well."

"Just relax," Max said. "Have I ever steered you wrong? I mean, other than the last time I took you to a strip club?"

They walked through the door and found themselves in the middle of a dark, crowded room. Cuthbert was the last one through the door and it disappeared into thin air behind him.

There was loud music blasting as a large grizzly bear swung around a pole on the main stage. There were two smaller stages on either side with go-go dancers bouncing around.

"Oh my," Bobby said as he watched the dancing bear. "She's gorgeous."

"You sure you're ready to get married, big guy?" Max asked.

"I'm sure," Bobby said. "She's very pretty. But nobody's as pretty as my Cindy."

"That's cute," Max said. "Now the first order of business is we all need to get plastered. I mean like six sheets to the wind fucked up. Maurice, you're good at fetching stuff. Go get us a round of drinks from the bar. Make sure they're strong. And don't order any of that milk crap for yourself. You're drinking with the big boys now and you're getting hammered like the rest of us, even if I have to pour it down your throat myself. You got that?"