And I Take My Life Tonight

                                                       And I Take My Life Tonight                                                   

My fingers curled tighter around the grip of the 9mm pistol I held to my temple. I was breathing quickly , my hand was shaking furiously. This is it. When I pull this trigger, it’s all over. My troubles will fade away..    

                                                         *FLASHBACK*                                                                                                                                                                                                           

             It was a sunny day here in California, nice and warm. I trudged through the halls, trying to get to my next class as quick as I can, I didn’t wanna run into him. His name is Eli. He’s blonde, muscular, he has a beautiful smile.... He is perfect in every way, but there is one problem. His girlfriend, Veronica. She’s a bitch. And a whore. Oh God. I see him. He’s with his two best friends, who are also on the football team. Jake and James. They’re twins. 

              Veronica stood by him, her bright pink polished hands clutching his bicep. Typical blonde whore. I bet her daddy bought her those boobs. Those are not real. I kept walking, looking down. I really need to clean my Converse. Shit! I bumped into Jake. “S-Sorry!” I choked out. I leaned down to pick up my books. A pair of hands picked them up before I could. It was Eli. Oh my God. My ovaries. He smiled at me. “Here.” He dropped them again, his innocent beautiful smile turning into a wicked smirk.

               Asshole. I bent over and picked them up again. All I could hear were Veronica’s cackles and Eli’s snickers. I stood up and walked away. Other students pointed and laughed, teasing me. Butter fingers! Clumsy ass! I opened the door to my classroom, stomping my way to my seat. “Ms. Wolfe. Nice of you to join us.” I heard Mr. Edwards say, his arms crossed over his chest. “Sorry.. I had an altercation in the hallway with Eli.”  I murmured. “Speaking of Mr. Stonewell. Where is he?” Probably having a quickie in the janitor’s closet. Oh, speak of the devil. 

             Eli walks in, a soft pink lipstick stain rested just beneath his jawline. You could barely see it. I don’t even know how I saw it. “Mr. Stonewell. You’re late again.” Mr. Edwards scolded, Eli just rolled his eyes and waved it off, taking his seat, which happens to be right next to mine. I so badly wanted to slap that lipstick stain right off his neck. It just sat there, staring at me. Look at me! Veronica’s lips were here instead of yours! I bet you wish you were her!  I focused on whatever the hell Mr. Edwards was blabbing about, eventually zoning out. The one word I heard was presentation, I was prepared for mine but the look on Eli’s face was horrible. He must of forgot like each time Mr. Edwards assigns us an essay. “You ready, Eli?” 

              I asked, looking towards Eli. The teacher looked at us funny. I knew Eli had a fear of speaking in front of large amounts of people. Stage fright. Even though he hates me and loves to bully me, I decided that since I’m a good person, I’ll help him out. I smiled warmly and took his hand, dragging him to the front of the class with ‘our’ essay papers. 

              After class, I walked to the cafeteria. I wasn’t even hungry, but I was extremely thirsty. I heard someone shouting my name. I swiftly turned on my heel, seeing Eli scrambling towards me. Oh shit. My heart leaped into my throat. He finally reached me, now out of breath, “Thanks..” I watched him gulp. “For earlier..” I composed myself. “No problem.” I said in a calm tone before turning around again to walk through the cafeteria doors. “Wait!” He called out again. I sighed, “Yes?” This time I didn’t turn around. “Do you wanna, maybe, hang out sometime?” He asked. I could just hear the smile in his voice. “Uh...” Was all I could choke out before Veronica walked past me, purposely shoulder checking me. I stuck my foot out, causing her to fall. The whole hall bursted into laughter. She cried out. 

             “My new nose!” I heard her sobbing. I started to walk into the cafeteria, mumbling ‘stupid bitch’ under my breath. Ah, that was great. I’ve been wanting to do that all year. 

              I walked to the vending machine. YES! They have Mountain Dew. A tall, slightly muscular, boy stood next to me. He was clapping, dimples dotting his cheeks as he smiled. His lip piercing sparkled from the sunlight that peaked in through the window. I practically melted. He was no Eli, but damn, something about lip piercings and dimples make my knees buckle. “Nice work back there. I’ve been waiting for someone to knock that bitch on her ass,” He spoke, pulling a few dollar bills out of his pocket. “What were you gonna get?” He pointed to the vending machine. I snapped back to reality, “Uh, Mountain Dew, please.” I cleared my throat. He put two dollars in and hit C8. 

             I reached for the bottle and twisted the cap off, “She deserved it,” I took a huge gulp. I saw him nod in agreement from the corner of my eye. “My name’s Matt, by the way.” He looked at his feet, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Call me Layna.” I looked at him and smiled sweetly. He looked back, his cheeks flushed slightly.  “Hey, uh.. I hear you like music.” He nervously scratched the back of his head. I smiled, “Sure do. All of the good stuff. Pantera, Metallica, and whooole lot of other bands.” His face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Wanna come over to my place later and watch my band practice?” Holy crap. I wonder what instrument he plays.

“I’d love to.”