A Fairy tales Wish

prologue

I lay on my hospital bed the distant cry of a new born baby stabs my heart with pain. I turn to watch as drops slide down the window with a pitter patter on the busy streets below. The door opens and a really nice nurse that helped me through the pain of losing a child during child birth appears.
"I just came to check on you",a small smile on her lips but a sad look in her eyes. I was never one to handle pity.
"I'm fine. Really I am", I say when unbelief crosses her aging face.
"I just need to get home and rest", her hand reaches out and squeezes mine one more time as she turns to walk out the door one more time.
At the door she turns to look at me, to ask me something but closes her mouth and shuts the door.
We both know what she was going to ask. She was going to ask if there was really any one she could call but we both know the answer. I'm alone have always been and that will never change.
* * *
I walk past the nursery and ignore a jab of sorrow. It's not really a surprise and you never expect the pain of losing a child to go away.
Looking through the glass a little voice at the back of my head urges me to go in. It surely can't hurt and there aren't any nurses around.
I push open the door and grab a face mask before walking through the rows of babies.
One begins to cry and I run over to her intending to soothe so that she doesn't wake the others but as I hold her in my and as her crying reduces, as her little fists unclench and as her eyes slowly open my gut slowly knots in appreciation at the sight of her, those eyes so black and rich, so full of life and again that little voice begins to speak.
Could I, no I couldn't.
* * *
I turn into the reception to find everyone asleep even those waiting on their loved ones. To scared and panicked to wonder why, and with the baby in my arms I walk out the door and into the night.