Dear Diary,
It has been a year since the last time I have communicated to him. And it has almost four years since I met him and last saw him. I had never forget that time when I laid my eyes on him. It was just a glimpse but it left an impact on me. After that moment, I couldn't stare at him anymore. He made my heart thumped so loud for the very first time. I don't understand why. We became friends but we don't see each other. Yes, we don't see each other. He wanted to see and talk to me personally but I refused. I've been skeptical. I've been afraid. Fear engulfed me. We've been friends for two years. Two long years..until the time when that friendship vanished. I waited for him to communicate with me. And until now, I am still hoping that one day he will be able to remember me and sent a message of a simple "hi". If only he knew, I miss him so much. I feel nostalgic of those moments when he made me laughed and smiled genuinely because of his witty mind and jokes. I miss those times everytime he says "I love you. Always take care. :)" I miss those times whenever we're justifying our ideas and beliefs over some things and end up laughing with each other over our petty crazy discussions. I miss those times when I'm learning new ideas from him. I miss those times when we have little misunderstandings and reconciled afterwards because he can't stand not talking to me. I miss those times whenever he reveals some of his secrets to me and end up laughing like an idiot. I miss those times when I looked like a mother to him saying hundreds of wisdom over his crazy doings. I miss those times when he always says "Eat your meals. Don't skip one." If only he knew, I've been thinking of him every time. I'm thinking of how is he doing. Is he alright? Is he happy always? Does he misses me also? I guess, he doesn't miss me. Who am I anyway? But we were okay the last time he contacted me. But what's wrong? What did I do to make him disappear just like that? I am definitely clueless. Maybe, he thinks that he's not important to me.. but guess what? He's my first close guy friend. And whatever I do whether I deny it or not, it will not change the fact that he's somewhat special. Wherever he is right now, I hope he's in good condition. I miss him so much that it hurts. It hurts to know that maybe I am not that important to him and I am just one of the memories of his past. I miss you Joziah, if only you knew. I am crying now. Yes, I'm crying.
Love,
Tiffany
