I'd Rather Feel Pain Than Nothing At All.

The beginning might be a little boring, but I promise the story will pick up and draw you in more.

Well, tell me what you think.

Oh, and the title 'I'd Rather Feel Pain Than Nothing At All' is from the song Pain by Three Days Grace (One of my favorites!) This story was sort of inspired by that song.

I'd Rather Feel Pain Than Nothing At All

Introduction

Having a life filled with luxury, getting everything you need and want. Isn't that what everyone wants? To be care free and never struggle with the bills.

From the outside looking in that sounds great. It's the perfect life, but sometimes it isn't. When you lose someone so close to you things change. People change and act differently. Sure, you still have the money, but money can't bring them back. Money just seems worthless in that kind of situation.

You never expect these things to happen to you, but that's life. The natural life; You're born, you die. You think to yourself 'Why is this happening to me?', or 'What did I do to deserve this?' It's not a matter of what you did to deserve it, death just happens.

You feel numb. You can't feel anything emotionally, but you can feel pain. You'd rather feel pain than nothing at all, right? </3

Chapter One

"KATIEEE!" I scream at the top of my lungs. That girl just doesn't seem to stop going through my things and taking them thinking I don't mind.

"What?" she asks while looking confused.

"Did you take my favorite shirt?"

"Um, maybe, but I'm going to give it back."

"Seriously?! Ugh. Stay out of my room, Katie! This is the last warning I'm going to give you."

"Okay. Sorry, Annie." She says while walking out of my room.

****

"You have five more minutes!" I scream to Katie.

I have to drive her to school, and she always manages to make me late. Every freakin' day.

"Alright, alright. I'm ready." She says while walking down the stairs and grabbing her bag.

My little sister is gorgeous. She's the kind of girl that doesn't need makeup to make her look pretty, she's just naturally pretty. Her hair is red like mine, but a darker shade of red, her eyes are Blue, while mine are Green. She's really skinny while I have curves. She has a different boyfriend every week. She's only 14 while I'm 16 and she's had way more boyfriends than I have had. Pathetic, I know.

We walk to my Black Mustang and get in.

****

I open the doors of Harrison Hills High School and smile. I'm immediately greeted my 'Hi Annie!' or 'I missed you, Annie!' It's great to know that so many people like me.

I walk up to my locker and spin my combination to open my locker. I get my History book out and put it in my book bag. I turn around and come face to face with my 'boyfriend' He starts staggering towards me. He reeks of alcohol and cigarette smoke. I don't know why I'm with him. I know he doesn't treat me right. He cheats on me, he's always drunk, and he is always somewhere smoking pot. He wasn't always like this, though. When we first started dating he was great. He never drank or smoked pot, but then his father walked out on his mom and him, and he started drinking. I just don't have the heart to breakup with him when he's like this. He was my first love, heck I still love him, but more as a friend. He recently started verbally abusing me. He says horrible things, he does this because I won't have sex with him. I'm saving myself for the right guy, and I know it's not him.

"Annie, I missed you, babe."

I smiled. "Yeah, I missed you, too."

He smiled back and took a few steps closing the gap between us. I looked up and looked into his eyes. My suspicion was correct. He was high. He also looked horrible. His blonde hair was a wreak, his blue eyes were blood shot, and his clothes had stains on them.

"Have you been cheating on me?" He asked.

I look at him like he's crazy. I would never cheat.

"No. You know I'd never cheat on you even though you cheat on me all of the time."

"Well maybe if you put out I wouldn't have to."

That's it. I can't take his shit anymore. I'm usually sweet little nice Annie, but there's only so much a person can take.

"You know what, Mason? I'm done. I understand you're upset with your father, but I can't be with someone who disrespects me, and who is constantly high. I just can't do it anymore. I tried to help you, but you don't want to change. I love you, Mason. I really do, but you've changed since the beginning. You're not the same guy I fell in love with." I felt my eyes start to well up with tears. I tried hard to keep them from falling, but failed miserably.

"Fine by me. You were a bitch that wouldn't put out, anyways. Oh, and for the record I never loved you."

And, he walked away without looking back.

How can you spend a year and a half with someone and not love them? He has to be lying, he just has to be.

I dry my tears and head to History class.

****

School went by faster than I expected. During lunch I talked to my best friend, Beth. I told her everything I said and everything he said. She told me I did the right thing and that he was a douche who didn't deserve me. She did make me feel much better.

I pulled in my driveway and went into the house. My mother was home. That's strange she's never home this early.

As soon as I walked into the kitchen I saw her. I knew something was wrong. "Annie, we need to talk." She said. Her voice cracking a bit.

'Oh god what happened?' I think to myself.

"Something happened."

My heart stopped. What could it be?

"w-w-what?" I managed to stutter.

"Something happened with Mason, he's dead."

Well, Mason's dead! :(

Anyways, I'd appreciate it if you commented and voted! :D