Terra doesn't know what she's gotten herself into, really.
She's at harry's doorstep. She really wishes she had the wit and quick mind of all the female protagonists in movies so she could get herself out of this. All she knows is that Brendon means the world to her and she can't go on without him for one more second.
It had been fine until she had to just go see their old spot, really. She was already plagued with guilt because of the story his manager suggested she make up to "keep his reputation" as the most wanted girl in england. Then seeing the curly-haired boy again after five whole years... it was too much.
"Um," Terra starts. She's never been lost for words before like this in his life. "I don't know where to start."
"Why don't we start with our relationship. If I can even call it that." Brendon laughs bitterly. "Well, I guess I can, since that's what it was to me. I don't know what it was to you."
"You can't do that," Tear whispers. "Please don't try and guilt trip me, because you know that the second you ask, I'd do anything for you. Just... please don't."
Brendon presses his lips into a thin line.
"So, like. Um." Terra sucks in a shuddery breath. "A month ago, I wasn't landing as many roles. So my manager suggested that I should reveal something, something personal that didn't necessarily have to be true. The idea was that if the world's attention was on me, even just for a little while, I could do what I needed and be back up there in no time." Terra laughs shakily. "So she asked me, what is the most personal secret you posess? and I thought, well, I don't have many secrets. And she said that we had to make something up. So then she asked me what the most important event in my life was. and I...I told her about us."
Her voice breaks on the word "us." Brendon's crying now and Terra has never felt more broken.
"And, so. I guess she twisted things around, as you can tell. She said it would be a good cover story. And at first I went along with it, because yeah, I was getting a lot more roles. But god...People were calling me... calling me things I'd never been called before." Terra briefly buries his face in his palms and when he lifts his head, his fingers are wet. "One afternoon I was at the diner's, and it was fairly quiet so I thought I wouldn't be recognized. But this group of guys came in, and they started talking. About me. They didn't realize i was just two booths away. And, er. I dunno. It was just a lot, I guess."
"Tear," Brendon whispers. His gaze bores into Terra's soul and Brendon doesn't look angry anymore. He looks... tormented. It's the only word Terra can think of to describe this perfect, wonderful boy who she's breaking his heart one pathetic piece at a time.
He doesn't say anything. There are a million words floating somewhere in his mind but Brendon can't string any of them together to form a coherent sentence.
"I'm sorry," Terra snapss after a moment.
"But I have to ask this. Please don't be offended," He whispers. And she thinks his eyes are so damn vulnerable that Terra's heart about shatters.
It's her fault. It's her fault that Brendon is like this.
"Anything," Terra promises.
"Is this some kind of a sick joke? Are their cameras hiding in your car? Are we on video right now?" Brendon trys to laugh. It comes out a bitter, flat laugh. "I can just see it on the newspaper tomorrow morning. Great for a laugh, eh?" His voice breaks, and a bit of Terra's heart breaks along with it.
"No," Terra sobs. She repeats the only word she knows how to say. "No, no, no. No. Brendon, no. I love you. I still love you, just no, please, no."
The words are out before Terra knows they're out. She hadn't meant to say them outloud but he has and she's so fucking screwed. She hears Brendon's sharp intake of breath.
"Stop fucking lying!" Brendon snaps.
"I do, Brendon. I love you. I don't know how to explain but i do love-"
"Shut up! Shut the fuck up," Brendon about growls. He sands up and so does Terra after him, still faceing eachother. He pushes his hands against her shoulders. The younger girl stumbles, but doesn't fall and they both ignore the stupid spark that ignites as they touch. Brendon's not actually angry, Terra knows that much. He's broken and torn apart and this is just a defense. He doesn't want Terra seeing through him. But she does.
"Please, BB. I love you, I really do. I don't know why you believe every lie I've ever told but when it comes to the truth..." Terra blinks away a few tears. "I loved you ten years ago and I love you now."
Brendon doesn't believe her. Terra can see it in his eyes.
"Fuck, Brendon. Fuck! I loved you so much, BB. You were everything to me. The one person I couldn't lose and it shattered my heart when you left, even though it was my fault. It was just... It's stupid as an excuse but people were, like, calling me names, you know? Like. Slut names. And yes, we'd been dating for five years and I did love you but it was just too fucking much at the time. So i suppose I got wasted and threw myself at Tom. I don't really remember. All I remember was you coming in and that expression on your face. I never want to see that expression on your face ever again. And, well, you left. Not that I blame you. I'd have done the same thing. And after that I was just so embarrassed and I knew I couldn't face you again, So i started dating Tom, having no where else to go...Not even having a place to live.
We've just signed the divorce papers, by the way. I moved to L.A., and then I started my career as an actress. I think that I became an actress because I thought it was easier to pretend to be someone else than to be yourself. Sometimes I still do. but BB. I love you, all right? I was thinking about you more than usual, so I thought I would visit the spot we always went to...And I seen you were ther, I tryed to get out of there, but you heard me, I'd been fine before that, but the second I saw you, I don't know. I broke down, I suppose. But I love you, Brendon. I love you so much."
Brendon doesn't speak, he just stares at Terra with round green eyes. "I want to believe you, Terra. I really do." He closes and reopens his eyes. "but I just can't." But Brendon doesn't look like he's rejecting Terra. His eyes brim with hope and he looks around and he shoots a glance at Terra's lips.
Terra steps closer, fueled by this newfound hope, and whispers, "Why not?"
"Because..." Brendon's gaze is trained on Terrs'a lips. "Because, I-I.... fuck, Terra." He jerks twords her pushing her up agains the wall. His arms around her waist like he's hugging a big teddy bear. Their lips meet and it looks like something Nicholas Sparks movie.
Brendon tangles his fingers in Terra's soft blond hair and he pulls the picture of perfection close. Terra has to stand on his tiptoes to reach Brendon's lips and Terra pulls a little too hard at Brendon's hair now running her fingers through his hair, but that's okay with them both. Terra's forgotten how wonderful it is to be kissing Brendon. Which is stupid because surely she would have remembered if it was this wonderful.
She's missed this boy and where the fuck has she been the past five years because it's all been wasted if he hasn't been kissing Brendon.
Terra pecks small kisses onto the edge of Brendon's jaw. "I love you," She murmurs between kisses. "I love you, I love you, I love you."
"shut up," Brendon says, cupping Terra's cheeks in his hands and kissing her lips gently.
"Give me another chance, BB," Terra mumbles, her mouth on fire under the impact of Brendon's wounderful lips. "Please. It's all I need.One chance."
Brendon pulls away and smiles. It's just a small smile, with just a hint of perfect white teeth. A bit of a shy smile, mostly overwhelmed, but that's all right. It's the first time he's really smiled in five years.
"you've got a million."
