Chapter Twelve: Lupus
Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
George Bernard Shaw
"I am thinking about taking a second mate that is a female," Atlas says as he walks in the door. It does hurt. I will not deny that. I do not want to share my mate with a female or anyone. My insides are in turmoil, but I just shrug on the outside.
Can't say I'm not hurt
I'll be damned if I'm broken
What we had is now hers
Let her know she can have it
"You'd be okay with that?" he says obviously surprised.
"My opinion does not matter. I'd be glad to have someone else around, so she could occupy your time. You're going to do what you want anyway."
He frowns, and sits on the bed as I put on some shorts and tank top to cover my blossoming belly. I am now a month pregnant, which equals about 3 months in a human pregnancy. In another month, I'll know my baby's fur color. I hope she is a strong brown color. I am about to go check on my little Celena. I haven't told Atlas the name I picked out, but I'm dead set on Celena. It's a beautiful name, and it means moon. She'll be the light in my darkness.
"Where are you going?" Atlas asks even though I've told him about this doctor's appointment a million times.
"I'm not repeating myself, again. Figure it out." I say completely sick of him. He's a piece of shit mate.
Cause I-I can't stay here, if there's no love
Yeah I-I can't stay here, cause I've had enough
Enough of no love, enough of no love
No love!
"I am sick of your attitude," he says as he slaps me across the face.
"I'm glad you're sick. Maybe, you'll get sick enough to die," I say earning me another slap.
Cause our hearts can never seem to break even
But what's the use I'd rather pack it up and leaving
Cause here we are again, cause you're wrong again
"You will respect me!" he screams at me.
"I can't respect someone I hate," I say as my wolf whines in protest. He doesn't appreciate the way I am speaking to our shit mate.
"You don't mean that," he says as his tone softens.
"I wish I didn't." He looks so dejected like what I said broke his heart, but he's shattered my heart, so payback's a bitch.
I admit that you almost had me
I admit I was almost crazy
"I'm going to the doctor," I say as I turn to leave.
"C-can I come?" he asks with the most pitiful voice I've ever heard, but my heart is hardened.
"Why don't you go to your other potential mate?" I say in a harsh tone.
"I don't have to take another mate."
"I'm apparently not enough for you, so maybe you should."
Quit tryin' to tell me that you love me
Cause your actions say another thing
"You are enough for me... I'm not good at expressing my feelings, but please I want to come to the appointment."
"Okay," I say as I grab his hand and drag him out the room. My excitement has returned. It's a perk of being pregnant, erratic mood swings.
I lead him to the doctor's office where they take blood, run tests, and give me advice on the pregnancy. I ask questions, and surprisingly, so does Atlas.
"You ready to see Celena?" the doctor asks smiling.
"Who?" Atlas asks confused.
"That's our baby girls name," I say smiling. He returns it as he looks at the little undeveloped pup on the screen.
"It's a beautiful name for a beautiful girl." A tear leaks out his eyes.
Soon, I'm all cleaned up and back at the room laying down with Atlas. I am curled in his arms.
I begin to think.
I remember when my heart broke.
I remember when I gave up loving you.
My heart couldn't take no more of you.
I was sad and lonely.
"I do love you, Atlas."
I remember when I screamed I hated you.
But somehow deep inside still loving you.
Sad and lonely.
"I love you too, Lupus. I know I don't show it very often, but I really don't know how. I am just so angry all the time. I know I take it out on you. I apologize. I just don't want you to hurt me." I bury my face in his chest, and inhale his scent as he kisses the top of my head.
I know you've seen a lot of things in your life.
It got you feeling like this can't be right.
"But, I won't hurt you; I'm down for you baby." I sing to him.
"Who is that?"
"Keyshia Cole," I mumble as curl into him, and fall asleep.
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