when you walk away,
I count the steps that you take,
do you see how much I need you right now?
when you're gone,
the pieces of my heart are missing you
when you're gone,
the face I came to know is missing, too
when you're gone,
the words I need to hear
to help me get through the day
and make it okay,
I miss you ..
Prologue; I Can't Escape
I remember him, its almost hard to forget him, really. I see him almost every night. In my dreams, nightmares.. Its like he's haunting me. I can't escape his glare. He's always just kind of standing there, watching me..
He used to do that a lot when we were younger, he said he was 'protecting' me, or 'watching out' for me.
It never made any sense, back then at least. I always thought what could ever harm me?
Now, I know a lot can. He's mainly the thing that harms me. But, I just can't stay away from him. Its almost like I'm completely drawn in to him, like when we were kids. But, he's not so friendly in my dreams, or, nightmares, if you will.
It scares me, most of the time. When it first started happening, I was thirlled. I was completely taken by the thought of dreaming about him. I loved him, obviously. He was my best friend. And nothing can ever come between that, we even said distance couldn't
But it scared me now. These weren't such pleasent dreams, anymore. Hell, they weren't dreams. They were nightmares. I hadn't the heart to tell my mom about them, only when they first started. She brought it up with my doctor, I don't know why, and he said they were a form of Night Terrors. His logic for this, was that I went into shock from him leaving, and it scared me he might not return.
That was true. But, why was I scared of him, and not for him?
The thing that scares me the most, was I haven't seen him in almost ten years, and I'm still not over him. I don't even know how he looks, anymore. Sure, the memory of him as a child is still carved into my mind, but that was years ago! He would obviously look different. But, I wouldn't know how different.
Thats what scares me, I don't know how he looks! Though, every night, he's there. And I could clearly see him, as if it were real, and he does look different. I'm just not sure if I made it up. But its so real.
And, the scariest thing about it all, I can't escape. I can't escape any of it. Not the horrifying nightmares, the peaceful dreams. Not any of them. I never could. I can't escape William Jacob Way.
And even though, now, he scares me half to death, subconsiously, I don't think I want him to leave.
The Good Ol' Days..
Alexis -
"Give it back!" I screamed at Cylus. Even though he's my bestfriend, at times I could really hate him, like now.. He took Teddy, my favourite stuffie, and since he is older and taller than me, I couldn't reach up to take her back from him.
