Regret and Redemption

OneShot

There are certain things you cannot change. Some people think a human being cannot change its fate, since everything that will happen in their life has been decided even before they are born. And while you can argue about whether your future is inevitable or not, your past definitely cannot be changed. Every fault you have done happened, and the only way to make up for them is using the present to apologize. Then, and only then, you may be forgiven.

As snow gently flew through the air, covering the ground in a layer of white, Nightwish assembled for a band rehearsal. They practiced, and even though it sounded pretty good, having no female voice to accompany their instruments felt unfamiliar. However, nobody voiced their thoughts on that, afraid to upset Tuomas. Tarja was a touchy subject, and ever since the band had given her the letter which put an End to an Era, the songs Tuomas wrote became more and more depressed. He did not want to accept that he loved Tarja, that he was jealous of Marcelo, and what's more, he did not want to accept that he missed her. And so, denying his depression, not wanting to talk about it to anyone, Tuomas tried to digest his negative feelings by writing them down. The remaining band members knew about everything, his love for Tarja was something you didn't have to speak out. It was painfully obvious. The only reason nobody talked to Tuomas and offered his help was because Tuomas did not want any help. He was the kind of person who rather locked his feelings away instead of talking about his problems. He knew that one day, his feelings would get the better of him and burst out all at once, that this outburst might crush his soul, but that was something his future self had to deal with.

When everybody agreed to take a break, the band members did whatever they wanted to do. Tuomas went over a new song he had almost finished, thinking about how it should end and if it sounded better if he changed one or two lines. Marco looked at Emppu, who was budy tuning up his guitar. Emppu did not pay any attention to Tuomas or Marco and Jukka was- nobody really knew where Jukka suddenly was, but Marco shrugged it off and walked up to the band's keyboardist. It was his chance to speak to Tuomas in private, and he would use his chance. He couldn't just sit back and watch how Tuomas secretly suffered anymore.

"Tuomas," Marco started, taking a seat next to his fellow band member. His voice was serious and Tuomas noticed that too, so he lowered the notebook that contained drafts of his songs and ideas. His eyes met with Marco's, and he replied: "Yeah?"

"It can't go on like this," Marco said bluntly. Beating around the bush was pointless, so he came straight to the point. If Marco wanted to get through to his friend, he needed to be harsh and honest, sugarcoating the problem wouldn't solve it: "You're hurting. You miss her.

Tuomas opened his mouth to tell Marco that he begged to differ, but Marco saw right through him and cut him short: "Don't you try deny it. You can't lie to me. You know, there is a way to bring Tarja and you back together again. I've never let somebody in on it, but for you, I'll make an exception."

The keyboardist did not know what Marco was talking about. Did he want Tuomas to apologize? If so, then Marco could immediately forget about it. Tuomas wouldn't cling to Tarja like an annoying ex-boyfriend who wanted to be in a relationship again. She had a husband, and it would be pathetic to face both of them because he wanted the old times back.

"My beard is magical."

...What?

Did Marco really just say this?

Did he?!

Tuomas looked at his bassist dumbfoundedly, his brain slowly processing Marco's words. He didn't mishear, Marco really spoke the words Tuomas had heard. And as Marco stared at Tuomas, waiting for a reply, Tuomas questioned the other person's sanity. The keyboardist didn't know what to say, hell, he didn't even know what to think about what Marco said. It also did not occur to Tuomas how Marco could look so serious while saying something that stupid. Marco's facial expression almost looked like he was being serious and believed in this bullshit.