You're the light in my darkness (boyxboy)

Roslinnon

August 13, 2009

Urgh. It's raining again. It always rains here in Roslinnon. We're on 'holiday', me and mum. She said we should get away from Dad and home for a bit. At the time I thought it was a great idea. No fighting. But definitely more rain. And I thought Reading was rainy.

I like rain sometimes though. Its calming. It's like each little raindrop is having a race with another to see who can hit the floor quickest. Or they're little living creatures following a 5 year olds finger as they trail it down their car door window. I remember when I used to do that. Mum and I would choose a raindrop each and bet some sweet which one would get to the bottom quickest. Obviously I always got the sweets in the end anyway. 13 years have gone by so fast...

I'm currently walking back to our hotel after walking around town for almost an hour or so. Yup, there's also nothing to do here. Mum thinks I should go to some club at the local church this evening, see if I can make any friends. I don't see the point as I'm not planning on coming back here any time soon. But I think mum wants to live up here... I just hope she doesn't drag me along with her.

I get on with my mum most of the time. Of course there's always going to be those mother and son arguments. But overall we're quite a strong pair when we're together. It may sound incredibly sad, but she seems more like a friend to me then a mum. But I wouldn't know the difference very well as I've never had many real friends. The friends I did have were complete assholes that ditched me after secondary school. They all stayed for sixth form, while I went off to a music collage an hour or so away on the bus from my house back in Reading. That was a year ago. I have one friend at my collage. His names Jakob. He's pretty cool I guess. And very attractive.

I stop just outside a little coffee shop and look up at the sky. Rain still falling and wetting my already damp curls. I breathe in and the scent of strong coffee wafts up my nose. Mm, that smells good. I check my pockets for any spare change and count up what I have. 58p. Well shit. No coffee for me I guess.

I start to trudge away, the smell of the coffee and hot chocolate disappearing, when a deep male voice calls out to me. "Hey! Dan!"

I turn around and see someone I was not expecting to see ever again. "Hey, Matt. Um, what are you doing here?"

"We live here now! Isn't that great? Do you live here now too?" He looked a bit too excited too see me after, what, 2 years?

"No. I'm here with mum for a few days. We're leaving on the 17th."

"Oh right..." there was an awkward silence and I just wanted to be eaten up by a big black hole. "I... I'm glad you're alive." He mumbled finally. I just nodded my head and kept my eyes on my shoes. "Look, I'm sorry we ended on a bad note. I didn't want it to end that way, honestly. it was all just too much for me to handle. What with you being all suicidal a-"

"Can we not do this here please. In fact, I'd much rather not do this at all. Goodbye Matt." And with that, I turned my back on a stunned looking ex and walked away.

***

When I got back to the hotel, mum was sat on her little bed with her head in her hands and tissues all around her. "Mum?" I walked over to her and perched on the edge of the bed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Mum what's wrong?"

She looked up from her hands, her eyes blood shot and tired. "Oh, mum." I hugged her tightly as she sobbed into my shoulder. "Calm down. It's okay. I'm here. I got you."

After about 10 more minutes of her just sobbing on my shoulder, she finally stood up and turned to me. Looking me dead in the eye with a serious expression.

"Dan... Y-you know how, Nan, had Cancer?" I nodded. "well it goes worse. So much worse. They say she doesn't have long left to live. 3 months at the most. So we have to be with her for as long as possible and be strong for her. So we're going back early. Tomorrow evening we'll get a flight back home. Pack your things now just to be ready." She spoke quickly, saying the last sentence as she walked into the bathroom.

I wasn't sure how to feel. Happy that we're finally going home and I can get away without seeing Matt again? Or sad because of course, my nan was getting worse and worse every day?

I start packing all my clothes away that I had got out, which wasn't many, as mum walks back into the room. "Are you alright mum?" I look at her.

"Yes. Thank you Dan." She smiled warmly at me. I smile back and run over to give her a big hug. I'm taller and of course larger than mum so it's almost like hugging a child.

"I, er. Saw Matt today. Not deliberately. I was walking by a coffee shop and he must have been inside and spotted me. Apparently he lives here now."

"Well that's good! You two haven't talked in years!" I feel like I need to tell her. But I'm not sure she'll accept me afterwards. I know she's not homophobic but she seems like one of those people to not want their child to be gay. I'll just wait until the times right.. and that time is not now.

"Yeah, I know..."

After that the conversation steers away and then turns to silence. Once we'd finished packing it was around 5:50pm. And I was tired as hell.

Mum had disappeared to go and let reception know that we were leaving earlier than expected and hadn't got back. I got into my pyjamas and snuggled into my single bed on the far side of the room.

Mum came back with a tray of food. The smell was amazing. Roast dinner, yum. No Dan. You don't want food. Its bad for you. It will make you fatter. I instantly felt sick.

"Dan, would you like some roast dinner? You haven't eaten much today." Mum called out to me, shutting the room door.

"No thanks," My stomach rumbled. "I'm not hungry."

With that, I turned over and put my earphones in. Listening to 'I wouldn't mind' by he is we. And slowly I drifted to sleep.

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Thank you guys so much for reading the first part of my story! I hope you liked it and I will try and update as much as possible so we can get to the main plot of the story! All comments and votes appreciated ^.^

- Cass <3