Breaking With Every Step I Take

Chapter 5: Dreams, Thoughts, and Secrets

Chapter 5: Dreams, Thoughts, and Secrets

"You're a waste of space, queen bee." He spat at me. I couldn't see him. I couldn't feel him. before me stood a blank shadow full of mystery. Who is he? Why is he taunting me? I tried to run but I was surrounded. 

"You spoiled, ugly, brat!"

"You psychotic loser! Stop stalking me!"

I was sweating. I couldn't breathe. I was in a middle of a dark room. Voices all around me, voices speaking nothing but the truth. But it wasn't true. Was it? I couldn't decide what was reality or not anymore. I felt faint. The scene went black and suddenly I feel cold.

"Take that ugly!"  My face was now numb. Snow falling off of it and down inside my jacket. I could feel my nose bleeding, but I couldn't see a thing. All I heard was laughter, my ear ringing. Nobody cared. Nobody ever cared. Here I was. Useless in the middle of a parkinglot. The cold winter snow fell down my jacket, making me feel paralized. 

It was warm now. Saw dust filled the air and I felt my back pressed up against a stone wall. 

"Why don't you just kill yourself before I do it for you?" They cackled, holding a saw up to my neck while the woodshop teacher was too busy with his daily nap. Nobody helped. They all just laughed as I fell to the floor when they let go. 

I woke up in a sweat. The salty taste dripping into my slips as I gasped for air. I could feel someone watching me. I turned on the lamp next to me only to see my Psycho Roomie staring at me.

"You talk in your sleep." She didn't even blink. She just kept staring. It made me uncomfortable beyond belief, but I might as well ask what I said, right?

"Oh yeah?" I said with a sneer, not wanting to show weakness, "What'd I say?" I sat up and folded my arms and glared her in the eyes. Hoping she'd realize she'd be dead soon enough if she spilt any secrets I may of leaked during my sleep, although that might be just what she wanted. Here for a suicide attempt and all. 

"I'm mad. I'm mad. I'm mad." She still hadn't blink. She just sat up in her night gown and looked into my soul.

"Yeah, ok." Of course I never said that. Her favorite quote seems to be the only thing that works in her mind. 

Suddenly I heard footsteps running into the room, "What's goin on in here? Why are the two of you awake?" It was the one and only lovely Jenny, not. She stood there. Her hair still perfectly pinned back into a pony tail. "You're in the wrong room, Darcy."

"Excuse me?"

"The room you'll be staying in is next door, where you were origonally put this morning?" 

"Well they transferred me here." Was she seriously trying to pick a fight with me at 2 o'Clock in the morning? Has she not learned her existance to me is NON-existant? 

"I'll go get your transcripts and sort this out. Come with me."

I groaned as I rolled out of the covers, slipping on the pair of socks I had put on the dull night stand that stood next to my bed and then proceeded to slide my feet across the tile floor. She could tell I was irritated, and I could tell she liked it. All I wanted to do was just rip all the flesh off of her body and say Bon-Voyage! As I tossed her remains into open water. She made me cringe, everything about her. She seemed as if she hated this place, which any one would if you were here to experience it for yourself. If she didn't want the job, why'd she take it? Desperate for money? Cute.

When we reached the main desk the stood on the left side in the middle of the hallway, I watched as she went behind the desk and into a back room, to dumb to not realize the door was still open and I could now see where all files were kept and were the key was hidden. For a woman of her age she wasn't too bright. The key was hidden on a book behind a bunch of bags right next to the tall filing cabinet. My cabinet was the 3rd one down and I could see when she pulled out a file, 15th one from the front. When she put it back I turned away to act as if I hadn't been looking at everything that just happened as she walked back over to me.

"You're room had been changed, but it was a mistake in the files. You'll be going back to your original room now. Go collect your things."

"Are you fucking kidding me? It's the middle of the fucking night." I spat. I had not gotten enough sleep. I was tired, cranky, and uncontrollably moody. 

"We do not use that kind of language here and that will effect some of your progress." She glared at me, little did she know that she should be greatful I had enough self-control left in me to not punch her in the face.

"Now that you've all gone through our pamphlets of tips to help you get into The Pretty Committee, we're going to talk you through the do's and the don'ts." I was now back in Sammi Burke's house, sitting on a stool at the island in the middle of her kitchen, examining everything she said. Nobody had known how bad I wanted this for years. To be here. To make it this far. "Rule number 1 in the don'ts, girls, we absolutly don't participate in any violence, what so ever, no slapping, hitting, pulling of the hair, biting, and what not. That's what trashy girls do, and what are we?"

"Classy girls." Everyone said in unison as we giggled amoungst ourselves. 

"Yay!" Sammi clapped her hands as she did a little jump in her pumps. She faced back towards the white board she had set out on the bar. "Now to the first DO." She winked.

The memory faded away just like that and I clinched my fist. "Whatever." I spat, as I turned around back on my heels stomping back towards the demons room.

When I got there Demi had still been in the same spot she was when I left her. Facing towards my bed, back staight and staring blankly at the wall. 

"Creep.." I whispered to myself as I began to pack my stuff up back in my bag.

"Where are you going?" She said. Suddle, but still facing the wall, no movement on her part, still not even a blink.

"Uh, another room?" I didn't want her to get "mad" at me because I left her, but if she was normal, she'd realize nobody would want to room with her anyways.

"I'm mad." She said. Then she began to lay down on her still made up bed and faced the ceiling. 

"That's lovely, Demi." I zipped my suit cases and rolled them out to the next room over. I'd never be able to sleep without unpacking and re-setting everything out, so I did just that, in the exact way I had, had it before. Shorts on the left, tanktops on the right, tankinis rolled into tubes put on a different shelf, underwear and bras layed out victoria secret style in the the only drawer I could find. Done.

I got into the hard bed once again and layed down. Leaving the light on, because I sure as hell didn't trust anyone here, nor did I plan to.