Cameron x Nash Short Stories - cash -

Blue Part One

For wedontbelieveinyou

"Stupid, stupid, stupid." Cameron says as he bangs his forehead lightly on the door. He can't stop from replaying the conversation with his boyfriend over and over. He pushed too hard, he can realize that now but he just wanted so badly to convince Nash that he was right.

Now Nash is gone and the harsh words they said to each other linger in the air.

"Why not?" Cameron asked as he turned to his boyfriend of 3 years. He was tired of hiding, he wanted their relationship to progress. He was not just Nash's best friend, he was supposedly the love of his life and yet Nash still resisted coming out.

Cameron got it, he knows it's hard to be gay in a small conservative town but they were adults, they've lived together for the past year. They've been friends since primary school and they knew each other like they knew  themselves.

Their romantic relationship began while they were in high school. Nash had been dating a girl, Taylor Giavasis, who cheated and Nash broke up with her. He had been depressed and sad, Cameron gave him a hug and when they parted they stared into each other's eyes. They couldn't say who leaned in first but their lips met in a kiss that made their world change completely. They felt everything in that kiss that was missing from other relationships. They had always been inseparable and so it wasn't too unusual that they moved in together after graduation, some friends thought it was a little early because they had just turned 18. But having part time jobs while they attended school and got financial aid enabled them to get an affordable studio apartment. They did it mainly to have some privacy and have a safe haven where they could be completely comfortable with being affectionate without the worry of getting caught.

"Because I'm not ready Cameron, you know my parents. You know how they'll react and yet you push the issue over and over. My reasons for remaining in the closet have not changed, you know this but for whatever reason you just think that maybe you'll say something that'll make losing my siblings worth coming out. Is that too hard to understand? My parents will ban me from seeing Skylynn and Hayes,-" he was interrupted by Cameron.

"You don't fucking know that, Nash. They could react completely different, they could accept you and you won't even consider the possibility," Cameron replied heatedly. "It's fucked up that I'm not worth it, that I'm not enough for you to consider coming out to your parents."

The hurt was obvious in his voice but so was the anger. He felt betrayed by Nash, he felt used by Nash. Nash literally just said he wasn't worth it.

He felt low.

"What part of THEY'LL BAN ME FROM SEEING MY FUCKING SIBLINGS DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?" Nash exploded as he stood and began to pace, his hands clenched in anger because Cameron was attempting to make him feel guilty for wanting to be in his siblings lives. "You know how my parents are, Cameron. Stop being stupid and pretending like they'll have any reaction other than complete disgust and hate for me!"

Cameron flinched at Nash's harsh words and his eyes stung immediately with tears.

"Oh, so now you're going to cry. Perfect." Nash said coldly and Cameron blinked back tears as he stared angrily at the floor.

"You are being deliberately hurtful, Nash." Cameron replied lowly, he couldn't meet Nash's eyes because he knew he would burst into tears.

His heart felt heavy, it hurt from Nash's painful words.

"You're being deliberately obtuse, Cameron. How many times do I have to say the same fucking thing over and over again? I'm not going to lose my siblings over this, you should understand that. Is being able to hold hands in public really more important than my siblings?" Nash asked, Cameron felt like Nash was twisting his words, like he didn't care about Hayes and Skylynn when he loved them deeply as well. But he believed they shouldn't have to live a lie just because of Nash's parents archaic beliefs.

Cameron didn't have his own family anymore, Nash and his family were the only ones there for him. He lost his parents and sister to a mass shooting that left him feeling guilt over being alive just because he opted to spend time with Nash, left him feeling depressed and unable to grieve properly. The pain in his heart from the abrupt nature of losing his family had never abated, it was just as fresh as it was the day he saw the horrible news. The panic and worry that set in his heart as he watched the news break on tv with Nash, he knew his family was at that mall. He had hoped and prayed that they were okay, that they weren't part of the 15 dead, the news that he had lost his family shattered his life completely and if it hadn't been for Nash and his family he wouldn't be able to function at all. They supported him through the worst part of his life but he was tired of living a lie.

Nash's parents weren't bad people, they just absolutely believed homosexuality was a sin but Cameron thought that maybe the love for him and Nash would supersede that belief. Nash didn't agree with him at all.

"It's more than just holding hands, Nash! We shouldn't have to live a lie, we shouldn't have to lie to EVERYONE in our lives because of your parents, because you're afraid that if anyone knew it would somehow get back to them. Why don't you fucking get some courage to be honest with your parents. This isn't going to work indefinitely at some point they'll start to wonder why you don't have a girlfriend or why you haven't dated anyone since Taylor. Why don't you just take the matter into your own hands? Why don't you stop being so scared? Do you truly think you'll never see Hayes and Skylynn again? Or are you just afraid? Maybe you don't fucking love me, maybe you're just using me for a cheap thrill while you find the woman you are going to marry. Maybe I don't mean a goddamn thing to you," Cameron replied equally as harshly as he lashed out in retaliation.

The silence was thick with emotion as Nash tried to rein in his temper, his anger at Cameron questioning his feelings, anger at Cameron's selfish desire to come out at the cost of Nash's relationship with his younger brother and sister.

"That's fucked up, Cameron. Fuck. You." He said before he turned and left the apartment, slamming the door so hard that the artwork shook slightly from the force.

Cameron rests his head against the door as the scene replays in his mind. He knows Nash loves him, he knows he's not using him. Nash treats him like a king, the only problem is his insistence in living a lie.

He regrets lashing out in such a manner and he wishes he could take the words back but it doesn't change the fact that he believes they should just be honest with Nash's parents. This is the worst fight they've had to date about the issue.

Tears fall down his cheeks as he pulls his phone out of his pocket and calls Nash. It rings continuously until it goes to voicemail.

"Nash, baby. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Come back so we can talk... I love you." Cameron says softly as he wipes his cheeks again. He turns and heads right to their bed where he flops onto the mattress dejectedly.

Their bed is actually to twins pushed together, they always separate them when they have visitors so no one questions why there's just one bed.

He lies on the bed as time passes by, staring at the ceiling and Intermittently looking at his phone, Nash hasn't called him back, texted him or come back. Cameron knows he won't be able to sleep while they're fighting like this. He wants to make up and cuddle with Nash.

He calls Nash again and it goes to voicemail, he hangs up and calls him again. Nash doesn't pick up and on the next call it goes right to voicemail. Nash shut off his phone and dread fills Cameron's heart because they always cool down and make up after they've fought. Whether it's he or Nash or leaves, they come back after an hour and talk their problems out but it's going on 3 hours that Nash has been gone and Cameron is scared.

He wouldn't be able to live without Nash. He's all Cameron has left.

A/n- short sorry but what do you guys think?