Prologue
They say, “Life is short.” For starters, let me tell you that I’m not the kind of person who is afraid of death. What I am afraid of is to discover something precious and to not have enough time to cherish it. Does that make sense? Well, I believe that you are the type of person that would say it does.
You might be curious what made me think of that. On the other hand, you might be not, but stubborn as I am, I would say it anyway.
I'm always thinking what’s yet to be. That befalls as the greatest predicament I am dealing with from the time I came across with the existence of reality. It is more menacing to not know than to know. In behalf of my inner critic, I will explain that. Have you ever tried taking an examination of your most detested subject? That’s exactly what I want you to imagine. Knowing the answers would be a relief. Not knowing what will emerge is dreadful.
CHAPTER 1
I will be a happy spinster. That’s what I said before my Mom ruptured into a laugh. An insulting laugh actually. Why? She’s painfully honest to me. The truth will set you free, she believes. If you don’t know, she will always have the urge to tell you what you missed. The previous week, I told her the same thing, and accept as true that this is what she said.
Go ahead and marry someone. We’re not spending the rest of our lives with you, dear. Twenty years is enough. No more headaches, please. (Insert evil laugh here)
Okay, that hurts a little. (I know I have your sympathy, reader. My Mom was rude. I am the oppressed one.) Well, not really. I know for certain that my Mom loves me after she added this.
Oh, just kidding, dear. What I want to tell you is that this life won’t be this delightful if I didn’t marry your father. You see? On your own, it won’t be delightful to the utmost. Go and give love a chance.
Experience told me that I should not have that conversation with my Mom. The power to persuade a person is her best gift. The next thing, I walked out giving her a half smile. What she said left me a bunch of questions to answer. Did I choose the most right option? Is this what I desire? What if I am choosing wrong? If the answer to the former is a yes, will I forgive myself? To expect the worst, will I turn into a psycho killer who kills every happy couple she sees? On the other hand, will I change my mind? Or will someone make me change my mind? This is causing me a mental suffering. Help!
CHAPTER 2
Possibly you are curious what made me think that to be unattached with a human is the best option. (I would like to emphasize “human” because I am currently attached to my dogs.) Speaking of dogs, they are the only things that make my parents think that I’m not a cold-blooded, merciless, heartless person. (If you have a dog, you know what I mean.) My mind tells me in much certainty that these adorable things have much more to offer than humans. (Let’s go back to the cold-blooded, merciless, heartless person thing.) I rarely cry. Yes, self-control at its best. Why? It is for the reason that I don’t want people to discern my downside. I consider it irrelevant to show the world what you feel. (I hope you agree with me, my dear reader. Actually, I’m grateful to you for wasting your time here. And because of that, I will tell you a secret. You ready? Uhm… wait. I’m not ready to unveil to you the only moment that I almost showed everyone that I am a very sentimental kind. Oh, well. Let me do my best. Here. February 16, 2012, 3:45 p.m., I received a message from my Mom.
Mom: Your white dog died.
Without second thought, I cried inside the classroom with forty students and a teacher. No, not crying. I was hollering. Yes, I was hollering when I received another message from Mom.
Mom: Just kidding. He’s right here waiting anxiously for her master. Come home early, okay?
Don’t blame me for cursing her at that very moment. IT WAS NOT AN AMUSING JOKE. WASN’T THAT OBVIOUS? I WAS HOLLERING. A VERRRRRRYYYYYY HUMILIATING MOMENT FOR AN EMOTION CONTROL-FREAK LIKE ME. Oh, sorry. I wasn’t shouting at you. It’s just that it’s not a good experience. I hope you don’t take it differently.)
