My Heart Started and Stopped With You

1. Last words

I woke up in the hospital and he was still right there, still holding my hand and asleep. My mom had just left to go talk to my doctor. My best friend was there as well and awake so I motioned to her to come over here. "Your awake!" She said whispered loudly. "Ya, has he even moved all night?" I asked her motioning to Sebastian. "No he stayed right there with your hand in his." As she finished telling me what he has done I couldn't help but look at him and smile. "It's gross how cute you two are like really stop it." I started to laugh a little which some how woke him up. "Hey love. How are you feeling?" It took me a minute to answer him because if I said how I really feel he will get worried so I lied to him. "I feel great now that you're awake." I felt a little guilty lying to him but what else could I have done.

"Sebastian and Micenzy  you two need to stop." We both looked at her with curiosity. "What do we need to stop doing?" I asked "Being so fucking cute!" She yelled. As the roar of laughter died down my mom came back in. Before she made her way over to me she whispered something to Cassie. Then she told Sebastian to come with her and get food. "Honey I have some very bad news..." She started to say something and then broke into tears. "Mom what's wrong?" I asked as I tried to help her get the words out. "It its your X-rays... the doctor just told me that you have internal bleeding in your brain and that..." her words being broken up by her tears " your not going to last the night."

      As my mom and I were still crying Cassie came back in but she did not have Sebastian with her. "Hey what's wrong, what did I miss?" Mom could not gather herself so I had to break the news to her. "Okay but before i tell you, you guys can't say anything to Sebastian about it," they both shook their heads. I took a deep breath and told her. Before I was done telling her what my mom had told me I was already embraced into a hug. We heard the door open and knew that it was Sebastian coming back in. "Hey sorry I took so long the vending machines here are really shitty," he laughed "What's wrong?" he asked as he wiped my tears away. "I lied to you...about how I felt ,I feel like shit." and once again I'd lied to him , but at least I came clean about earlier.

"Are you sure that's the only thing that's bothering you?" he asked as he saw mom and Cassie wipe their tears away. "Ya I'm fine, well I am now that you're back". That time I didn't lie, I did feel better now that he was back.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" he asked

"Sure but, Mom and Cassie can you guys run to the house and get me some stuff?"

"Yeah, of course sweetheart, what do you want us to get?"

"Some books, headphones you know stuff like that."

"Oh okay we'll be back soon."

"Okay love you guys," I say knowing that they will take awhile trying to find my headphones because I have them with me. "I think I want to watch a Disney movie". So we call a nurse in to see what Disney movies they had here, and so finally chose The Lion King.

      I don't remember much of the movie because I had fallen asleep.

      When I woke up, the movie was off and my mom and Cassie weren't back yet. I looked up because some how I ended up laying my head on Sebastian's chest. I could hear him breathing, they were slow and steady. I looked around to find my phone and spotted it on the table next to my bed. I tried to reach for it as slow and with as little movement as possible. I continue to reach for it but all I can do is touch it with my middle finger. As I try to swipe it closer to grab it falls off of the table and startles Sebastian.
"Holy shit! What was that?"he asked as he shot up.

"Oh, I was trying to grab my phone and it fell."

"Oh, okay. As long as you're fine and save."

"Really, your going to say that?" I asked

"Of course. That's all I care about." he said as my face got red. We laid there for what felt like forever, but I didn't mine laying there in his arms. We talked about what would happen if we where to get married and what our kids would look like. We where joking about all of the marriage and children talk but it was still nice knowing that he thinks that I'll be alive in the morning. I still had not told him about the internal bleeding in my brain and I wasn't planning on it. Mom and Cassie finally got back to the hospital and mom looked a little mad.

"It would have been nice if you would have told me that your headphones where here the entire time." she said

"Well sorry I guess?" I say sticking my though out at her. "So what was dad doing when you got to the house?"

"He was asleep on the couch. He needed some sleep."

"That's good you all need sleep. You all have been here." I say looking at all of them as I say it. Mom asked all of us what we wanted for dinner and the only food I could think of was pizza so that's what we had. We all agreed on plain pepperoni pizza but we had to get two of them because we all where starving. As we finished both pizzas I looked at the clock and it was almost 9 o'clock so I told them that I wanted to go to bed, so they all got comfortable on the floor or in the chair. Mom took the chair, Cassie took the floor and Sebastian and I shared the bed. But before we all fell asleep I had told Sebastian that he needed a shower so he took one at the hospital.

"So I'm guessing that you still haven't told him about the bleeding?" Cassie asked

"No I haven't and I really don't want to tell him." I say trying to be quiet so that he couldn't hear me in the bathroom. "can we stop talking about this?" I asked, and so we stopped talking about it for the night. I know that it was going to be hared to get to sleep tonight. Not only of me knowing that I'm not going to make it to see sunrise but for mom and Cassie. When Sebastian got out of the shower we put in another Disney movie and tried to fall asleep. For mom and Cassie it wasn't that hared, they have been up and making sure I was okay for over 24 hours. When I knew that those two where sleeping, I looked up at Sebastian and then looked back at the T.V. trying to not let him see the tears. It didn't help and as soon as he felt the tear roll off my cheek and on to his arm he knew something was wrong.

"What is it? Stop crying. Everything will work out and you'll be fine." he said moving so that he could wipe the tears away.

"I know." I say knowing that I was lying to him again.

"Then why? Why the tears?"

"I just don't want this to end." I tell him, but this time I didn't lie to him.

"So you want to stay in the hospital forever?" he asked like he didn't know what I meant

"No, what I meant was that I want to stay in your arms for as long as possible."

"Well you can stay here as long as you want." he said embracing me into a hug that I never wanted to leave. I started drifting off and I thought that I was going to die then and there. But I got to wake up knowing that this is the last sunrise that I'll ever see again. I didn't wake anyone else up but all I could do was watch the sun come up taking in my last site. Sebastian woke up and we talked for a minuet.

"So what would you do if I died?" I ask him wanting a fast answer

"What do you mean?"

"Like if I where to die right now, what would you do?" I asked trying to clarify for him

"I don't know. Why would you even ask that?" he didn't give me time to answer him before saying "well I'd cry and hold you in my arms for as long as I could and not stop say that I love you."

"Thank you."

"Wait? Why did you want to know that?"

"I don't know but I want you to know how much I lov".........then everything went black and I saw a flash of light.