I couldn't take it! The pain was too much! It hurt! If i had carried on, if no one had stopped me i could be in a coma or maybe dead.
i was laid on my bed, tears streaming down my face. I could see the pills on the desk next to the bed. There was no thinking twice! I grabbed the pills, picked up my box of blades and ran into the bathroom, the only room with a lock on it!
Sat there on the floor, me, a pot of pills and 5 blades, locked in a room. I couldn't help it! Too much was going through my head to stop and think about what i was doing.
Starting with 4 pills. Gone with two swallows. I picked up a blade, starting just above my wrist I cut deep but not deep enough to do some really serious damage. After my arm was filled with slits I took 3 more pills. Moving on to my leg, i started to cut just above my knee. At this time there was blood all over the floor, dripping from my arm.
I heard my bedroom door open. My mother shouting my name repeatedly. I didn't reply. Then she started knocking. There was no way I could reply. After 5 minutes of knocking she finally left. By then i had already took another 8 pills.
Moving on to the other leg, i put the blade to my skin. Just as i was about to cut myself again my phone went off. My best friend had rang me, i didn't know she had already sent 23 texts. She knew there was something wrong. I couldn't lie. I told her about the cuts and pills, she told me to tell her everything that happened.
I told her I had been bullied and abused at school that day, kicked, punched, called names, pushed downstairs. The thing is, I've had this for 5-6 years. It had finally came to the point where i couldn't take it anymore.
She helped me get through, helped me to stop going that little extra, stopped me from killing myself! I cleaned the blade, chucked away the pills, hid the blades and shoved my dressing gown on.
I told my mum i was going for a long walk round the estate, i put my earphones in and went on a 4 hour walk. Forgetting everything! By the time i got home it was 11 o'clock, 1 hour until midnight.
Everything was gone, I needed to start fresh and that's what i did!
