Let me tell u alittle bit about myself. I am a full on directioner who daydreams about meeting all the boys especially Louis. I got tickets for my birthday to see them in the second row, I was so unbelievably excited. It was about half way through the concert when the boys were going to throw two meet and greet passes into the audience.
I thought, "there is no way im going to be that lucky." Liam and Harry were about to throw them. I saw harry give Louis a look then point in my direction (no pun intended) with his eyes then he noded. I got really bad butterflies for some reason. Harry took ten steps closer so he was right infront of me, then he dropped the pass right into my hands like he wanted me to have it. I was so extatic! I was going to be able to touch Louis Tomlinson, it didnt even feel real, I was just waiting to wake up. But i didnt. I just wanted the concert to be over so bad so I could meet everyone.
The time finally came. My mom waited out front and I found my way to the backroom. There were about 30 people in the room waiting so I got in line and waited my turn like everyone else. When it was my turn I had no words. I was just standing there shocked. Louis came forward and took my hand, I nearly fainted. I was wearing a flowered blouse and black short shorts. when Louis took my hand Niall saw them. I knew I should have worn a sweatshirt. A year ago I was diagnosed with severe depression and I cut. Like every night.
We took our pictures, when I got them I was laughing so hard cause in every one of them I was staring at Lou! When the pictures were done I walked away and saw Niall whisper something in Iouis' ear and then his smile disapeared.
I went to the vending machine to get a drink and I saw Louis run to Paul (their security guard) and tell him something. I was walking out the door and Paul stopped me. "I'm sorry did I do something?" I asked. "No just please go to the boys dressing room" he said, "dont ask me why cause I don't know the boys have requested it." Really confused I found my way to their dressing room. I texted my mom saying I was going to be awhile longer and that I will text her when i need to be picked up. Since the stadium wasnt that far away from my house it wasnt a big feal for her to pick me up later.
I was waiting there for around 2 hours. I snacked on some of their candy hoping Niall wouldn't find out. They finally came in all with serious faces and I couldnt help but smile, ONE DIRECTION WAS SITTING INFRONT OF ME!!! when I smiled so did Louis but it soon disapeared. "What's up guys?" I ask trying to get rid of the awkwardness. I try to cover my wrists with my purse but im pretty sure they all know so it's no use. Niall came out and yelled "WHY!" I said, "why what!" Trying to act like I didnt know. Niall said, "why would u do that to yourself?" I still didnt want to give in so I just sat there looking at all of them. I proceeded to sit on my hands and made a face because it hurt so bad. Niall ran over and sat on the couch beside me and pulled on my hands wich hurt like a bitch. Harry looked like he was almost in tears. Everyone rolled over to me in their wheely chairs and looked from my wrists to me over ond over again. Louis said calmly, "why?" I said, "because I was getting tired of this bullshit of a life. I know im ugly and fat nobody has to tell me that and my life sucks." Harry got up and went to the bathroom. Louis kissed my wrists and said, "promise me you will never do this again." I said, "i'm not going to make a promise I cant keep especially to someone I love." he said,"so you are going to do this again?" I replied with, "I was going to do more than just cut tonight."
You could tell just by Zayn's eyes his heart sunk into his stomach. Louis had no words. Harry came out of the bathroom. I asked, "are you ok?" he looked at me and those dimples melted my heart. Louis went over to him and whispered in his ear. I'm guessing he told him I was going to commit suicide cause thats exactly what I was going to do.
Harrys eyes filled with water. He fought the erge to cry. He went over and kicked a chair over. "HARRY!" Lou screamed. "What!" Harry screamed back. He came and sat next to me and stared into my eyes for about 2 minutes then he hugged me for about 5. I liked that though so I hugged back. I dont know why but he made me feel safe. I am VERY surprised I didnt start fangirling when he hugged me. The way he rubbed my back comforted me. When we let go he pulled my hands out and just looked at them. He said, "why did u do it?" I said, " because im sick of life and i dont think anybody would miss me." he started to raise his voice now, "everyone would miss u!" i said, "i just dont think so." liam niall zayn and louis shook their heads. liam said, "what made u do it?" i said, "well it makes me feel better, i know im fat and ugly and nobody gives a shit about me so whats the point?" harry said, "i give a shit lou gives a shit niall gives a shit liam gives a shit zayn gives a shit! and you are anything but ugly and fat! i think you are stunning." i said, " now you are just saying that to make me feel better there is no way you can make be believe that. and yeah thats five people out of the whole world i mean five sexy amazing caring people but still." zayn said, "there is no "but still" this world would be a different place without u." i said, "how do u know that?" now raising my voice, "u just met me three hours ago. nobody has ever cared." now realizing im crying i start to yell. "my dad abused me my sister and my mom when i was younger did u care then? no. he went to jail for seven years of my life. a girl needs her daddy she needs to sit on his lap and him to protect her from boys did i have that? no. my mom was left to do that for both of us by herself for all i know she just wanted to give us up!" all the boys looked very surprised now. everyone got up and i started to ball my eyes out, they all gave me a group hug. i felt safe now. i never wanted to leave. i was crying in to nialls chest. i felt bad i got his shirt really wet.
