Unbearable

Chapter 20

~Chapter 20~

(Kenneth's POV)

"Let's start with you Kenneth. From what I understand you were the one that wanted the divorce. So you don't you tell me and your wife why you brought us here," Dr. Mahajan asked me.

"Well," I started occasionally staring at Nessa. "We wanna save our marriage." I looked at Vanessa who didn't seem so convinced with what I was saying. "We?" Dr. Mahajan said in a surprised tone. "But you were the one who wanted the divorce so are you saying you're ready to reconcile with Vanessa?" I nodded. "Yes. I want to fix whatever it is that's broken...together." I looked at Nessa to see if we were on the same page, but she seemed completely out of it.

"Good. That's wonderful to hear. So with that being said, what are the things you think need to be fixed in this marriage?" Dr. Mahajan asked.

"Trust," I answered plainly. "I think we need to regain trust with one another."

"Vanessa do you agree with your husband?"

"Yes..." she finally said. "Yes trust-that's a big part of it. Also, I feel like the love in our marriage sort of...dimmed." I saw her eyes getting watery. "Kenny has been very distant lately and real detached. I'm scared that he's...fallen out of love with me."

"Kenny do you think that's true? Have you fallen out of love with Vanessa?" Dr. Mahajan asked. I couldn't lie. I do love Vanessa. That wasn't the question though. In love. Was I still in love with her? I sat there in silence. I didn't make eye contact with Nessa cuz she will read right through me. Vanessa finally bursted in woeful tears. I couldn't take it. "I'm sorry," I said to Dr. Mahajan. "Nessa, I'm sorry," I said feeling terrible.

"No it's okay," Dr. Mahajan started. "This is a part of honesty and healing." We sat there in silence for a few moments as Nessa continued to cry.

"It's just...I did everything I could to keep Kenny from finding out the truth. It's like when he found out who I really was everything that we had-all the things we built together...died." I hated seeing her hurt.

"Kenneth what was the biggest thing you couldn't deal with when Vanessa revealed the truth to you?"

"I mean all of it really hurt me doctor. I guess the main thing that bothered me was the baggage. Okay...you use to be a crack addict, a dope seller, and you have an illegitimate child. That's something I can handle. But not when your ex dealer and baby father, along with your daughter and her kid, and your ex fuckin lover joins the wagon!"

"He's not my lover!" Nessa yelled.

"Whatever. Point of the matter is everything was just great before Darryl, Keith, Ron... and Chase."

"Chase. You say his name with such anger-hatred almost. What is your disposition with him?" Dr. Mahajan cut in.

"This guy tried to single handedly destroy our marriage! I mean-the first time I met him was cuddled on my couch with my wife. Then he gets disrespects me in my own home, and my own wife doesn't even defend me. What am I to think doctor?" I asked in a rage.

"Doctor, I don't understand why Kenneth is so threatened by Chase."

"Should he be?" Mahajan asked.

"Well...no."

"And what exactly is your relationship with Chase now, and prior to your marriage with Kenny?"

"Chase is my friend. He's been my bestfriend since birth! Whenever I needed anything I had Chase. Chase helped me get out my abusive relationship; he helped me through my drug addiction. When I woke up in the middle of the night hollering because I wanted a hit or because I had a flashback of being hit, Chase was there to comfort me. Him and his family. Chase got me through my first pregnancy, and it was Chase who reunited me with my daughter-"