Please Don't Hold my Hands || Camren

Please Don't Hold my Hands

ONE SHOT

Lauren hates everything.

From the way it felt to hold her hands to the way it felt to kiss her lips. From those whispered conversations to the ones that they couldn't stop laughing. From the way her smile widened every time she saw her, to the way her eyes were shining with passion late at night. From what Lauren remembers to what she wants to forget.

And Lauren remembers everything.

Before Lauren met Camila she was writing an essay for one of her classes and her eyes wouldn't look at anything else but the screen in front of her. The only sounds she heard were coming from the cars passing by outside her apartment and from the keyboard of her laptop each time she pressed her fingertips against the keys, going from one to another without even looking at them.

Lauren remembers the door being opened and Dinah's loud voice announcing she was home. She remembers saying hello back, eyes still glued to the screen in front of her, and from the corner of her eyes, she remembers not recognizing the second person entering their apartment.

So naturally, she stopped writing.

Lauren remembers the way Camila's hair was shining thanks to the sunlight of the sunset coming through the windows. She remembers the way Camila squinted her eyes because the sunlight had hit her right in the face, and she remembers the warm color of her brown eyes looking at her own emerald ones.

"Hey, Lauser," Dinah began, coming from the kitchen with two glasses of cold water in her hands. "This is Camila," she introduced her friend from college, giving her one of the glasses she was holding. "And Chancho," Dinah added with a smirk, "this is Lauren, my best friend," she finished, sitting down her drink on the coffee table.

"Hi," Camila smiled at her, before taking a sip of her drink and waving timidly at Lauren with her other hand while Dinah walked over to the windows to take the curtains down.

"Hey," Lauren said, rising from her chair and walking over to Camila, reaching out her hand. "Nice to meet you," she smiled back, feeling Camila's warm hand squeezing softly her own clammy one.

And Lauren knew in that moment when Camila's smile grew and looked at her with crinkly eyes, that she was completely screwed.

She remembers halfway through dinner feeling self-conscious about her outfit: dark gray sweatpants and a black hoodie with the words "Teenage Dirtbag" in the front, all white and in capitals. It was a joke gift from Dinah for her birthday that she ended up loving. And on top of that, she was still wearing her white socks, dirty from walking around the apartment all day.

She remembers feeling self-conscious because Camila was wearing a white collared blouse tucked into a black skirt, black tights molding her long legs and high boots. She remembers how beautiful she looked with her white little bow contrasting the color of her hair. Hell, Camila must have thought that Lauren was homeless or something.

The green-eyed girl remembers that same night, talking to her. It felt so easy, so effortless that Lauren forgot all about her essay for the first time in four days. She remembers Camila laughing at Dinah's jokes, scrunching up her nose because she couldn't contain her laughter. She remembers Camila leaving late that day, borrowing the same hoodie the green-eyed girl was wearing (Lauren's excuse to give it to her was "it's still a little bit chilly"), even though she and Dinah insisted that it was fine with them if she stayed for the night.

She remembers Camila's hug when she said goodbye, and she remembers the "hope I see you soon" Camila whispered in her ear before pulling away. She remembers Dinah teasing her about Camila once she left, telling her that she was already having a crush on the girl, and even though Lauren denied it a second later, her heart never felt as light and as full as it felt it in that moment.