The Adventurous Adventures of One Direction 3 Transcript

Part 3: Faun Your Mark, Get Set, Goat

CAST (in order of appearance)

Hank
Dr. Leechtenstein
Louis
Niall
Zayn
Liam
Harry
Henry

R&D LAB

Hank:
Excuse me, sir.

Dr. Leechtenstein:
Is there a problem?

Hank:
Unfortunately, sir, the Polar Express has derailed!

Dr. L:
Vhat?!

Hank:
It went completely off track!

Dr. L:
Zhe train or dhe movie?

Hank:
The train!

Dr. L:
Curses! Did Vun Direction survive?

Hank:
I can't tell for certain, sir. The conductor's gone offline. But the train had just reached land. About 10 miles south of Santa's workshop.

Dr. L:
So zhey're getting close. Assuming they survived, they'll now have to travel by foot. And foot, as you know, is very dangerous to travel by.

Hank:
They probably can still make it to the workshop.

Dr. L:
Zhey must make it! Zhe plan depends on it! Send your troops to capture them. Ve must make sure zhey make it here in one piece-uh.

Hank:
Is that necessary, sir? They're superheroes. I'm sure they can make it the rest of the way.

Dr. L:
To the North Pole? Are you joking? It's like Narnia out there!

CUT TO HENRY'S HOUSE

Louis:
Okay, is everyone present and accounted for?

Niall:
Yes.

Zayn:
Yes.

Liam:
Yes.

Harry:
Yes.

Louis:
Jolly good.

Zayn:
What about all those kids who were on the train? Are they okay?

Kid 1:
Stay away from us!

Kid 2:
Y'all are crazy!

Louis:
They seem okay. Now let's make our way to the North Pole!

Harry:
Which way is that?

Louis:
North?

Harry:
Which way is that?

Louis:
Up? I don't know. Anyone have a compass?

Niall:
No.

Liam:
I think I can download an app. Except I'm not getting a signal.

Zayn:
No signal?

Louis:
I can't get a signal, either!

Zayn:
Where are we?

Niall:
We're lost. Lost in the wilderness!