One day this hobo had to go to the bathroom, so he broke into a lady's house and took a shit on the toilet. His butt seemed to stick to the toilet and inside of it after long hours of constipation. He has serious diarrhea but none of it seemed to come out! He cried for help as he did his best to push all the shit up his anal out. There were no replies and he gave up after exhaustion. After a week of no food and socialiazing, the poor hobo died on a toilet. Which was Paris Hilton's.
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Once upon a time, there was a very, very, very displeasing looking and very disappointed man. Every time someone or something would look at him, they seemed to die inside. And may have actually died after their eyes darted away from his sight. He made people go insane and homicidal.
He felt good about it.
So one day, he was doing his usual routine; wear his most revealing clothing and walk the streets, hands in "pockets" whistling and say pick up lines to people. They dropped to the ground after they passed him. Cars crashed, riots erupted. Mental hurricanes came across the valley.
And the porn star didn't care!
A few hours after the destrusction, a random dude, most likely one of those college douche jocks, pushed the porn star into a wall and began beating him up until every bone in his body was broken. And made sure the porn star was covered in bruises. Feeling no pity for the porn star, the college jock grinned and came up with the greatest idea.
He was gonna cut off.. The porn star's... BALLS!
Doing so, with the pain so intense, the porn star died and all peace was restored. The savior aka the murderer remained unknown, but at least their was no porn star so ugly it killed people, walking around!
:D
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Yeah, I'm awesome!
