(These were not written by me! I own nothing)
Part 1
1) Don't worry; your kid probably isn't gay, even though the pictures hanging next to their bed looks like girls.
2) Don't get your kid an English CD for their birthday or any other gift giving holiday, they probably won't like it.
3) When they show you a picture of their favorite singer, don't instantly assume that it's a girl, it probably isn't.
4) If you walk into the room while they are on the computer and they minimize the window instantly, don't be offended, it's probably for your own protection.
5) Don't be surprised if their total clothing and make-up style changes
6) If they start speaking a language that is almost English, but not quite, don't worry. Its called "Engrish". You'll get used to it.
7) Don't insult their favorite J-Rockers.
8) When they start talking about Lucifer, they aren't worshiping Satan.
9) Buy more ink jet cartridges for the printer, the more pictures the fan has, the happier they will be.
10) Don't be surprised when you can no longer talk to your child about anything except Japan.
11) Be prepared to learn more than you ever had, about something you never wanted to know about.
12) A man in a dress is sexy, no matter what you say, nothing can change that.
13) Don't correct them when they spell the name "hide" with a lower case h, that's how it's done.
14) When they collect scrap fabrics to make plushies, don't worry, they aren't practicing voodoo.
15) It doesn't matter that they don't know what the singers are saying, don't bother arguing about it.
16) J-Rock isn't a phase and they won't grow out of it!!
17) Dont ask why Myv always changes his style...its something they don't even know.
18) If your child cracks up when they hear "Viking Helmet" don't ask, you would not understand.
19) Never read over your child's shoulder...it may cause mental scarring.
20) If they start adding myv to alot of words or say things like Cuxy, Meevil, or Spazicity. Don't worry they just have the Miyavictionary!.
21) don't ask when your child makes a shirt that says Kuri Fan Club or Hikari Fan Club and giggles like mad, yet again something you just won't get
22) don't get mad when your child stays up late listening to some psycho named Roger on the computer, Tainted Reality will eventually grow up.
23) Don't freak out when you see them writing what appears to be Satanic messages in chicken scratch on their homework or scrap pieces of paper. They're called hiragana, katakana, and kanji.
24) A gift card for your local post office will be much appreciated, especially if your child is seen collecting random things like glow sticks, Trident, and a trucker cap when they've never expressed an interest in these things before.
25) For your own safety, DO NOT go through the links in your browser's history. This too may cause mental scarring.
26) Once again, don't assume your child is involved in some kind of cult when they start making Xs with their arms at the computer screen or when listening to a CD. Get used to this, especially in the spring of 2008.
27) No, HYDE is not a character from a book.
28) When they start giggling uncontrollably when you offer them vanilla ice cream, don't ask. You really don't want to know.
27) Just be comforting and sympathetic when the child starts crying while reading a sentence with hide in it.
28) If your son becomes obsessed with dressing in a feminine way, it's not because he's gay, it's because he loves VK.
29) Dont call your child a freak when you wake up to find thirteen different colors in their hair.
30) Just be nice and eat the cake when they make birthday cakes with J-Rocker's names on them.
31) When your child mentions they are planning on moving to Japan, please take this seriously, because they really do mean it.
32] If your child shows up the next holiday with a multicolored Mohawk and piercing he/she's never had before, don't kick them out of the house, and celebrate their individuality.
33] If your child randomly starts screaming "Cookie!!" for no reason, for the love of Pete get them one!
34) When your child says the word, "Gackt", they're not imitating the cat.
35) if they just start falling on the floor laughing while eating either anything with vanilla in it or banana's just go with it...if you feel the need to know...still don't ask.
36) if they have pink in their hair for two months out of the year...just go with it.
37) if they sudden cannot help but giggle when they see cucumbers...be afraid. BE VERY AFRAID...
38)if your child grows a strange obsession with the word magnum know
it has a whole new meaning....run for your life or cover your ears
THIS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS YOU NEVER WANTED TO KNOW
39)if your child randomly says things like "oh man that's a good idea" or "I can't wait to share that one." Don't ask what it's about.
40)If you happen to be one of those parents that absolutely must know what's going on in your childs life...be sure to keep up with the latest news of J-Rock so as to understand what your child is talking about.
41)if you introduce your child to a person named cindy, note, they will not like them
they will run
and they will cry due to the horror which you don't wanna know
42) never question blue lipstick, just get them mental help this only applies to blue lipstick
43) Get used to $30 price tags for the CDs they want.
44) Get used to the fact that your child will want a lot of CDs that only have two or three songs on.
45) Do not question them when they say they want three versions of the same CD *cough*Miyavi*cough*
46)No, 382 and MYV are not gang symbols. Don't call the police just yet.
47)Pleads from your children to bleach their dark brown hair stem from two sources. One is to dye their hair different colors. The other should not be discussed.
48)If your teenage child wants to see a team of giant dancing cats performing a sort of war dance, just go along with it.
That's not a clown, darn it, it's KOZI.
49)If your child says "Enough about me, let's talk about my dress," do not point out the fact that they're not even wearing a dress. It's a rhetorical statement.
50)If they randomly yell out words that sound like they could be English while listening to a CD, don't be alarmed. It just means they've gotten a new CD and will have learned the lyrics in less than two days.
>w
