He Says, She Says

Take Me Back

Chapter Fourteen

Take Me Back

(Lexine’s POV)

            Ayoko namang mag-mukhang tanga kaya hindi na ako ang nagpaunlak na maunang magsalita. Paniguradong mauutal ako kapag gano’n. Like haler? Hindi ko nga alam kung anong sumapi sa akin at pinapasok ko siya eh. Hindi ako ready. TT___TT

                 “Juice or coffee?” I asked him. Napaka-hostile ko naman kung hindi ko siya tatanungin kung anong gusto niyang inumin.

                 “No, I’m good.”

                 “Sigurado ka?”

            Tumango lang siya bilang sagot. I gestured him the couch so he can go sit on it. I joined him but I made sure na may space yung inuupuan naming dalawa. Mahirap na. =___=

                 “Kamusta?”

            That one question. I don’t know what to make of it. Kamusta? Ako kamusta? Kamusta nga ba ako? “I don’t know. Good I think? You?”

            The bitter smile crept up his lips when I asked him. Tumingin siya sa sahig habang gini-grip ng kamay niya ang isa pa niyang kamay. “Hindi ko alam. Hindi ko alam, Lex. Sa tingin mo, kamusta ako?”

            Nag-angat siya ng tingin, right then I saw his tantalizing blue orbs. But ironically, it felt like something had died there. It wasn’t nice to look at. It’s like everything that is in Bryce screams pain and loneliness. He wasn’t the same man that I know before. Sobrang laki na ng pinagbago niya. Hindi ko namalayan na nasasaktan ako sa nakikita ko. Gusto ko yung dating Bryce. The one who used to smile a lot, the one who used to tickle me till I died of laughter, the one who used to do crazy things to get himself out of boredom. The one who’s eyes glittered every hour, everyday.

            This is not Bryce. This is not my Bryce.

            Nakita ko rin yung dark line sa ilalim ng mata niya, it wasn’t that visible if you don’t look closely. He had a scar on the right side of his neck. Yung klase ng scar na parang may matalas na bagay na sumugat sa kanya. It’s too deep to not notice.

            What happened to him?

                 “Bryce… Seriously, don’t do this to me.”

                  “Do what? Not to make you feel guilty?” somehow, feeling ko rhetorical question ‘yon eh. “Why? Do you feel guilty now? You should be, you know!”

            Sabi ko na eh. Rhetorical question nga. Galing ko noh? Chos.

            Huminga ako ng malalim. You know ayoko talagang gawin ‘to eh. Pero mukhang nawawala siya sa lugar para manisi ng gano’n-gano’n lang. “It’s not entirely my fault, Bryce. Part mine, part yours. Hindi naman ako ang tangang nagtulak sa sarili ko para lumayo sa’yo. Ikaw.”

                 “I didn’t ask you to leave.” He hoarsed, his eyes filled with unshed tears and his hands are clenched into a tight fist. “I didn’t ask you to leave, Lex, you know that! I just asked you to stop but I never wanted you to leave! You left me!”

            So ano ‘to? Kasalanan ko pa? Langya naman oh!

                  “Baliw ka ba? Natural iiwan kita! Alangan namang andu’n lang ako habang ginagago mo’ko ng ginagago? The last time I checked hindi ako martyr! Mahal kita oo, pero hindi sa puntong tatayo ako do’n at panoorin kang saktan ang sarili mo ng paulit-ulit at saktan ako sa maling dahilan!”