"Ichai please write this down, it might be you next book. I know you've struggled but i think it time you understood what love was all about." the old man said his eye almost out of it playing area.
The wrangled neck always shown some spark of hope in life and experience that mismatched his looks. He was in rugs yet life had given him an year to mount his thought. It would be dishonest to say I hadn't grew fond of him, constantly visiting him for guidance. But his health was deteriorating at a high pace and I had to come more often. He would let a cough now and again as if to cough his chest out. A shiver would creep up my spine as if something wanted me to hear his story before his muscles couldn't support him anymore.
For once he couldn't have been wrong to hate the world as it had given him grieve that his face had mastered some courage to speak before his mouth. It had twisted his life in a way not only I couldn't comprehend even when his whole body spoke out loud. And the agony he would express as if his ailment had somehow found a way into his center.
"What is it that would troubles you this much my friend," I hasten to ask as to drift his mind back to reality.
He seemed lost in his thought for he would lower his face as if life didn't matter at all and that moment he would take the worst decision to have all the peace he needed. The reflection from a framed picture must have made him shy. It shown him the man he was despite all that had transpire in his life until this moment. He could have a cheer face but to what in his life. Nothing could make sense anymore. Even he found it difficult to bravely put a happy face.
But a smile would suddenly appeared as he started to speak again,"well she was good,beautiful and cheerful. So admirable in every character not to many but especially to me. People would say we had a lot in common and for sure I could see that myself."
Later he would lower his voice and turn his face towards the window. He looked as if he had noticed somehow beyond the greasy glass he found hope or as if something beyond the glass had answers to all of his predicament. Moment that would consume him in his thoughts reduce him to his fantasy.
I didn't know what he saw but he would then continue his voice now grossly distorted,"But life had to dig a deep furrow, we couldn't cross. I knew it with certainty that she would have been with me till these late years of my life. She was more determined than I was. so mature than I and at some point somehow she managed to change my life to fit hers. I could have said that at that moment she really completely filled my life with all a man would ask. At last life must have seen how i yearned to be with her. How i felt free just being around her or how i felt good just listening to her voice that it would take her away from me."
He dimming eye almost let a tear out, you could tell his heart was pierced at the and he was desperate to do anything. I could have helped but what was I to say, what was I to do at least to make it easier. He took another breathe and tried as much to hide the pain. He could have made it without speaking about this issue another year but it was time to let it go an have a life.
I could see he struggled with himself to let the story flow out of him."You see it takes a second to see and love, but a life time to forget such a girl." He would later ask me to bring him some water, a packet of cigarette and his medicine.
"So why now my friend it seem to have been years." I coughed wondering what to say and trying as hard not to seem offensive.
I knew he was fast to anger and i had to place my words right. In a way he would be gentle and sweet to talk to. Some would say he was gullible, or you could find you way with him. But no, at times he would be divergent from normal. Sometimes making decision people would consider weird. He would fight the criticism with all his power and this would make him distance from his society all in proving his principles.
"I had held on to her this long my friend, its time to let her go before I loose my breathe and rest in peace."His melancholy mood would soon take over consuming his face. Anticipation grew deep trying to get to the of the story and console him that it was all right and life had to move on.
I was surprised to hear his voice continue to echo a sign of relief. "She came in easy but I find it difficult to let her go."he said again bringing out mixed reaction. "I have read somewhere that shortcut are the most difficult. Well until know I couldn't understand and who would have thought I would live to tell the tale. Not the way love had consumed me and the way i would end up this way. She came to build me for sure that was pasted in her and in that I could say I was so blind how I eventually got damaged. You are young my friend love comes mostly once in blue-moon but when the deal is so good think twice. You can loose more than you gain or thought."
At the moment his deep gaze would have scared the hell out of me. He would later let out a laugh to cool the tension that grew as he spoke to me. He would then pour water i brought into a glass and take a sip.
"She would laugh at my jokes merely to please me. But i was already pleased by her smile, her face and her gentle being. I sometimes thought she would out beat the dove not by her structures being, but her tenderness reflected each time i grew close to her. You see I knew each time i wrote something in my mind, it would vanish out. but there was something about her that was special in a way. She had that charismatic pull towards me that most people would describe to me as love. it was helpless to think about her but all I could say she gave me some kind of super power to wait this long," he said as he lit a cigarette, blew the smoke into my face.
His eyes would turn red as if the effect of the cigarette was almost a instantly . But I knew the weight in his chest had much than puff of smoke to redden his eyes.
He would continue allowing his mind to absorb another gulp of nicotine, but i interjected as the smoke particles swirled in my sight
"How did you feel about her? "
"Did she ever love you?" I asked each question that was running through my mind.
The smoke must have filled his lungs or just wanted to create suspense in me for the pause was long and very uncomfortable. I pin would drop and we could hear it as the silent prolonged to make me move my chair closer in anticipation.
And then out of nowhere he began to speak, while a mixture of mist and smoke spat out of his mouth. He couldn't start to speak without a hoarse cough,"As usual love at first sight is sweet and no one know the bitter side until you taste it. it is like you are blind to everything and all you see is the love you partner gives you. From the start all was well and even deep in her eyes I could see some light,some hope and in excess of love. She loved me for sure and in return I couldn't offer any less. I would say somehow I magically believed in love after all that. Real love is out there my friend look for it but would it be better if I started from the top?"
