#SocialMediaIRL

"Titter..." He bit his lip, as if thinking something over. I couldn't help but smile at how cute he looked.

"Come on, Gram, just tell me." He looked at me with those green eyes that never failed to raise a sigh.

"I think we need to break up." The air escaped from my lungs and it seemed like my whole world came crashing down.

"What?" He turned away, which was probably a good thing considering I resembled a gaping fish at the moment.

"It's not you," He assured. "It's just... we don't really have much in common, you know? I mean, I like taking pictures and stuff to capture the moment, and you like to inform everybody of everything at every second... " So he was playing that card.

"I can change!" I screamed desperately. "I'll become the woman you want! I'll stop ranting so much and capture the moment- I'LL EVEN MAKE AN INSTAGRAM!" Latching onto his arm, I sobbed into his shirt. "I promise, I can change and we can stay together." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously

"About that... I sort of already asked out another girl..." I let go of him.

"Excuse me."

"We get along better and have a lot more in common- I mean we even have the same favorite color."

"I CAN HAVE THE SAME FAVORITE COLOR TOO!"

"Titter... No, just stop..." Sighing in defeat, I glued my gaze to the ground.

"Can I at least know who it is?" He nodded, running a hand through his hair.

"It's FaceBrook."

"Oh my God!" I screamed, anger overtaking my body. "I can't believe you asked out FakeBrook. She is such a poser! She lies about everything! Her name, age, favorite color- I mean, I know her favorite color is magenta! She just says it's blue because she's fake af!"

He glanced awkwardly at his bare wrist.

"Yeah... Well it's time to... Feed my... dog," He stammered, before scrambling away. Well I suppose it is necessary to feed your pets- wait...

"You don't have a watch! You don't even have a dog!" I shouted, chasing after him. But he was already in his car, driving far, far away. Stomping my foot, I made my way home.

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"Mom I'm home!" I slammed the door with more force than intended to. Tossing my keys on the counter, I headed upstairs and jumped onto my bed, taking a moment to do the stereotypical scream into the pillow before pulling out my laptop. The world around me was forgotten as I typed furiously, throwing myself into the one thing that mattered to me. Social Media. I mean, why not? Just waste my time talking to people I don't want to talk to in real life, instead of going outside and enjoying life to it's fullest. Because, you know, logic.

I decided to go to the one thing I knew I could count on. Shmitter. I quickly typed in a shmeet.

Status Update: Just Broke up with meh bf. #SinglePringle #WhoNeedsHim? #Can'tTakeMeAtMyWorstDontTakeMeAtMyBest

I, of course, had to update my followers on everything going on in my life or else who would sympathize me? I stared at my profile picture in the corner, it was from prom last year. We looked so good together. I can't believe he left me for FaceBrook. She's not even pretty. Okay maybe she is pretty... but she's so fake! So technically that would make me the prettier one. Right?

Status Update: It's his loss though, because I'm super hawt #Rockin'Bod

I grinned, waiting for my loyal fans agree with me. When the first like popped up, I quickly went to go see who it was and raised an eyebrow. FaceBrook.... I bet she was happy we had broken up. That little boyfriend stealer. Huffing, I opened a new tab and logged into Facebook. I smiled triumphantly as I pressed the unfriend button.

"Take that, FakeBrook!" I stuck my tongue out at the screen. But then I noticed her cover photo and frowned. It was her and Gram. I scrolled through her page and gasped.

In A Relationship with Gram

Ten minutes ago

Suddenly my confidence deflated and an overwhelming sadness took over. I went to his page and saw the same thing. Tears welled in my eyes and I headed over Instagram. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse than this, I saw it... She was his Woman Crush Wednesday. How dare he! It's not even Wednesday! I went through his photos and realized all the ones of me had been erased. From dances, football games, and even... the selfies I had uploaded.

Status Update: I CAN'T BELIEVE HE GOT OVER ME SO FAST #WhatAJerk

Status Update: But I miss him so much #DisASadDay

Status Update: I don't think I can continue without him #It'sASadLife

Status Update: You know what, I don't need him #GirlPower

Status Update: You know, certain people out there, @Gram123 just want to bring you down. And I think that's just pathetic, but whatevs #ComeAtMeBruh

Status Update: I am an independent woman, I don't need no man to hold me down. In fact, I think I'ma hit the club with the girlfriends tonight #Where'sTheAlchohol

Status Update: Oh wait... I have no friends #loner

Status Update: I walked by a black coat the other day #BlackLykeMySoul

Status Update: Maybe I don't need to hit up the club #NotAboutDatLife

All of sudden, I got a notification.

FaceBrook commented: Hey Titter, I'm gonna need....

Five minutes ago

Quickly, clicking on the notification, I read the comment.

I gasped.

How dare she tell me to take down my pictures of Gram! What a female dog. Like, ohmigod, stawp. Biting my lip, I started to type furiously...

To Be Continued....

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So...yeah...

We're sorry for this. To be honest, we don't even know what we just wrote. But anyways, Happy Holidays to anyone who reads this! Kwanza, Haunakkah, Christmas, National Cupcake Day for those who worship the religion Cupcakism. Anyway, er, have a good day or night

-Love Gummy & Chummy