My heels dangled around my trembling fingers, yet the floor still whined with each step I took closer to my bedroom. I tucked my tangled curly black hair behind my ear and pressed myself against the cool surface. My face scrunched up in concentration as I tried to listen through the layers of wood. I sighed in relief when I heard Damien's soft, deep breaths. I also felt guilty. With more confidence I pushed the door opened and stared at the lump laying in bed.
The moonlight glow darkened his tan face but because I have slept beside this man for the last seven years I knew he was laid on his back, with his lips parted leaking drool. About half a year ago he told me he started having dreams of running for a missed flight. He said he has no idea where he is going but when he gets to the airport the doors don't open. He is stuck outside watching his flight take off in the sky banging on the glass. When I asked him what he thinks it could mean he brushed it off, but some nights he tosses and turn in his sleep more than usual.
He rolled on his right side causing the sheets to strain at his torso. There was a forgotten cover kicked at the foot of the bed. I gently closed the door behind me and let my head fall against it. What did I just do? I shook my head trying to erase the memory of the red-haired man I met at the club hands greedily reaching for the zipper of my dress and ripping my panties off, but it didn't work. If anything, I gave myself a headache.
I let my shoes tumble to the carpet and reached inside my purse for my wedding ring. I held it in my hand wishing it didn't feel so heavy right now. It was a simple band made of white gold, but two sparkling diamonds sat on top of it like royalty. The slick cuts caught everyone's attention when I held out my hand. I loved the ring but I still shamefully slipped it off once a week for the past half year, around the same time the dreams started. I squeezed my eyes shut before the tears had a chance to escape.
I furiously shoved the piece of metal back on my finger and walked over to my closet to hang my purse. My dress reeked of sweat and stale beer, so I slipped it off and replaced it with the first fabric I touched. I tiptoed to the bed and peeled the cover back. I gently slid in beside him and let my eyes give in to exhaustion.
"Where were you?" a deep husky voice slit through the dark.
My eyes snapped back open and my heart pounded against my chest. "Huh?" I breathed.
He shifted around so that he faced me. His eyes glared into mine, but he spoke calmly. "I asked where have you been."
I knew he was talking about more than just tonight. I held my breath as I waited for a string of curse words or even for him to become physical. Neither ever came.
So I broke the silence. "I-"
"Don't Melissa," his voice cracked. My stomach tightened at the thought of hurting him. Standing at 6'3 and little extra weight he has never been vulnerable in his life. In middle school, I would watch as he stood up against bullies and they cowered away.
We laid there in silence staring at each other for seconds, minutes, hours, shit I don't know. I waited till he closed his eyes to whisper, "I'm leaving you."
