This is why i'm me

I'm just your average 2 year old. The only bad thing is I have a dad that's a criminal and a mother who's never there to feed me. My brother makes us dinner, but he's only 5. My mom does drugs a lot, she knows it's bad for her yet she does it anyway. Her name is Crystal and my fathers name is Danny, then there's my brother and his name is Devin.

Danny's the type of man that will hurt everyone he claims to love physically. He tells Crystal that he loves her and a few minutes later he'll beat her nearly to death.

One day I went to my uncle Matt's house with my family and he has this aggressive pittbull. My brother was making lunch and everyone else was upstairs doing drugs and smoking weed. The dog Moose, was getting too close to our food so I told him "back" he then pounced on me and went straight for my neck. I remember seeing blood everywhere and not even crying from being in shock. Everyone came running down stairs and my dad picked me up ran out to the car with 5 feet of snow on the ground. You could see the blood splatters in the white snow.

The doctors had to give me over 70 stitches inside and outside of my neck. Moose's teeth were one millimeter away from my jugular, hard to believe I survived that only being a two year old.

We later moved into an old farm house, it gave me the creeps! I would always get lost for hours because it had secret passage ways because it was a house to hide slaves before.

My mom told me this dream she had it was about my father murdering a woman and dumping her body in the pond at our new home. The morning after I woke up by the blinking of police lights in the window. My dad in the back of the cop car, and my mothers eyes filled with tears. She was too scared to tell me why he left so she made us pretend like he went to a secret island for his own good.

After months of him being on that "island" my mom decided to break him free to be with his family again. All of sudden he was back home with us and then we moved and bought a little trailer big enough for Crystal, Devin, and I. I really hated making changes but this was the hardest change in my life. Later that month my dad went back to prison it was a good and bad thing at the same time.

Over 2 years later, I was running around in my underwear helping my mom do laundry next thing I know, I was being shoved in to the wall. The door slammed as I fell and hit the floor, I didn't know what he was doing to her in there. I heard her screams I didn't know what to do or where my brother was. He opened up the door, grabbed my head and threw me. I had no idea why he did it, I thought he loved me? I passed out from hitting the ground so hard. When I woke up the cops were there my moms face was covered in bruises and she wouldn't stop crying my brother wasn't in sight either.

That was the last we saw him. After everything that happened we decided to move again so he wouldn't find us. This place had a lot more people everywhere. After getting familiar with the place I began riding my bike up this tiny hill, daring at my feet as I walked it up the hill. I saw a Bassett hound he was the cutest thing in the world. Then I noticed an old man holding him on the leash

I said "sorry"

He replied, "you shouldn't talk to strangers"

"Oh my mommy never told me that", I replied.

Somehow I introduced him to my mom and they became friends. Devin and I started going over to his house to help him fix things, with my dad gone I needed a fatherly figure.

One day I was in his trailer and he was there too.

He whispered, "do you want to know a secret, you can't tell anybody"

I didn't know what to do so I shook my head yes. He pulled down my shorts ad I quickly pulled them back up and I didn't know it was bad at the time so I never told anyone. I started going back to his house again and he began touching me. I was scared but no one told me it was bad. Going back to his house everyday, he took it to the next level and got me naked and made me watch tapes of porn. He told me, "do what they are doing"

I asked "are you sure this is ok"?

He said, " yes, I promise baby doll"

He threw me on the bed and kept touching me everywhere, his cold hands on my warm naked body. What was he doing to me? Then he took his pants off and got on top of me. That look in his eyes i'll never forget, that's when I felt something jab in to my lady parts it hurt so bad I was crying. There was blood everywhere. What did he do to me? Should I tell my mom? I never went back to his house again.

I soon became depressed but my mom hardly ever noticed me, she had tons of guys coming over all the time. She'd put on movie for me to watch while they all went to her room and had sex I didn't know that's what they were doing till I was scared and went to go sleep in her bed. There she was being drilled by some random guy. That was when I discovered I'm too young to be experiencing this.

Crystal settles with this one guy John, he was really mean to me, but Devin liked him. They got engaged two days before my 8th birthday. I hated John with a fiery passion!

My mom would always suck up to him and be a bitch to me and one night I got so tired of his shit I just went off. He went to take away the only thing that didn't keep me from going insane, that was my tv. I was on my bed throwing a temper tantrum and I accidentally kick out my window my whole leg went numb. I ended up getting about 10 stitches above my ankle. They said I did it to get attention. No if I wanted attention I obviously wouldn't ever get it from you guys.

Our neighbors dog drunk some of the beer that was on the porch and died. The dogs owner came up to our house saying she did it on purpose and try got into a fight I had no clue what to do so I just watched. There was a lot of court dates and another one of our neighbors got sucked in to it because he was gullible and the girl was pretty hot. He started coming by our house at night holding a gun out his car window and aiming it straight for my brothers room. I have to admit it scared me, so we ended up moving again.

John and Crystal started fighting a lot, I was scared because before every fight my mom ended up getting beaten. He ended up moving out which made me so happy! My mom and I were fighting one night, she wanted the guy who raped me to come over and I begged her not to let him

She asked "why the fucking hell not"?

I said " mom, he touched me"!

She replied screaming "no he ducking didn't you're so full of shit just like your worthless father"!

That's when I broke down crying at the age of 9 I told her " please don't let him come here , he touched me, and he raped me "

She still didn't believe me so I stayed in my room for days after that too embarrassed to come out... How could my own mother not believe me?

Weeks later she called my name and told me to come talk to her . She said she asked someone else about him being a pedophile and he told her that I wasn't the only girl that accused him of it. I felt relieved but then, so mad... Why would he do that to another girl too why is he so sick?