R.I.P. Aiden x

What now?

What do I do?

What would you do if you found out that one of your best friends has died?

Do you cry? I did. For 3 weeks.

But what if you are just depressed? What if you have no more tears to shed?

Here is my story:

"Chloe Todd, would you please come to the head master's office? Chloe Todd to the head master." The voice over sounded.

I was in English - my favourite subject, I got up, collected my things and went straight to the head master.

I was worried.

Had I done something wrong?

Was I getting an award?

What has happened?!?

I knocked on the door and got told to come in. I opened the door and saw my parents and sister. They were crying. Why? I needed to know. Now.

I got told to sit down.

"W-well, y-you remember A-Aiden?" My mum said in between sobs.

"Yeah." I replied with uncertainty in my voice.

"Well... Ummm.... You see... He has been found, dead"

"What?!" I look at my parents sitting on the opposite sofa to me.

"You can't be serious! You just can't be!!!" I shook my head in disbelief, I was furious. I stood up and just ran to the girls' bathroom.

Tears were streaming from my eyes and down my cheeks.

He was like my best friend!

My sister found me in the toilets. I was still in tears and I found out about his death like an hour ago.

Tears wouldn't stop. I didn't know what I was feeling.

Was I sad?

Was I angry?

All I knew was that I needed him. I will always need Aiden. Dead or alive.

He was like my other half! I couldn't live without him.

I missed him.

The next thing I knew was that I was home. I looked at my phone to see the time; 11:52 am. I got up to my room, got into my pyjamas, sat on my bed and just cried. I cried and cried and cried.

I then started to think, I thought about how much I missed Aiden, how I going to get through this, and how he was such a loyal friend. He knew ALL of my secrets.

I then thought about how much I loved him. He wasn't family. But I loved him.

Yes, I, Chloe Todd, have fallen deeply in love with Aiden Scott. But unfortunately I can't do anything about that. He is dead. He isn't breathing. I will never get to see his gorgeous dark brown eyes again, his wonderfully tanned skin, his light brown scruffy hair, his imperfections that made him perfect.

Wait. I know he died. I don't know how or why though?

"M-mum?" I called through my sniffles.

"Yes dear?" She replied with

"How d-did Aiden d-die?" I asked just to break down into more tears again

"Oh darling," my loving mother said as she pulled me in for a huge bear hug.

"Aiden killed himself, baby."

"No! He wouldn't do that! No! Mum, you're lying!!!" I yelled at my mother for a minute or two and then ran up to my room and locked the door.

*ding ding*

I just received a text message, it read:

"Dear Chloe

Hey, it's Aiden here. You probably just got this text because in the note that I left I asked the person who found me to send this to you.

Well this is it. I am so sorry. You are probably blaming yourself for not realising. But please don't. It wasn't your fault. It was those fucking idiots - Alistair and Tom and the rest of their shit

Before I leave this Earth I wanted you to know that I have always loved you. I knew from the moment I met you we would be soul mates (sounds cliché but it's true)

I love you Chloe, always have, always will

Goodbye

Aiden x"

I read the text, I smiled. This was the first time I smiled. Today I felt like dying. But now. Since I got that text. I feel free. Now I know why Aiden left.

I gathered a rope, pen and notepad.

I was ready to be reunited with the one I love.

I know I just said that I was happy. I was happy because of Aiden. I felt like he was here again. But now. That was fading away now. I could feel the tears crawling their way back to my eyes.

"Dear mum and dad,

I'm sorry. It was for Aiden."

I wrote, but then something stopped me. Another text. It was from my boyfriend, Harry. I felt bad. I just said to myself that I love another person and now I was texting my boyfriend!

Fuck my life!

But as I read the text I realised that I didn't love Aiden. I said that because I missed him. I actually love Harry.

The text said;

"Hey babe. I heard what happened and why you went home. Hope you are alright. Don't do anything stupid. Text me if you want to talk about it, anything. Don't do anything stupid!

Love you xxx"

I went back to my desk after reading the text, picked up the notepad and ripped the letter out and threw it in my bin.

I think Harry just saved my life. He just made me notice that people care. More than you think.

It was 4:57 pm and I felt happier, still like shit but happier.

I wasn't going to die tonight.

I go downstairs in my pyjamas and just snuggle with my dog, Buddy and watch movies for the whole night.

That's my story. I thought about killing myself. I thought about it so much. Then I received that text and realised how horrible it would make everyone feel if I did die, I know that sounds self centred but my parents wouldn't know what to do. My sister wouldn't know what to do. My other friends wouldn't know what to do and my boyfriend wouldn't know what to do.

So to answer my earlier questions:

Now you pick your head up but NEVER forget them.

If you cry, you aren't a weak person. It just shows how much you care.

I still cry when something reminds me of Aiden but not as much.

He never left my heart.

Rest In Peace x