The Mind of Me

Response to a Challenge

So apparently I've been challenged to...answer random questions about me? Something I don't normally do, but it seems like a popular thing here on Wattpad. The challenger was Bre2k9, who had done the same challenge in her journal-type book titled "This is Me." 

Anyways, she was the one who gave me the idea to start doing this journal, so why not have the first entry be this challenge survey...thing. Let's get started.

Have You Ever Broken A Bone?

---Nope; not even a sprain. I'm a very cautious person, and what few sports I was involved with posed little risk for major injuries, even for professional athletes.

Have You Ever Cried Yourself To Sleep?

---Well, that's an interesting question. The literal answer would be 'not since I was a young child, as children do go to bed crying over some temper tantrum.' Not to say I was a particular fussy child, but hey, children will behave as they do. But as of recently, so within the last few years or so, I have gone t bed with deep angst and sadness, yes. I have wanted to cry at times when I try going to sleep; but usually, in situations where that happens, I separate myself from those thoughts. Put them aside, convincing myself that the things I am worried about are none of my concern; and if they were, I wouldn't be able to do anything anyways. Something I'll hopefully touch on later.
No use crying over spilled milk.

Have You Ever Been Arrested?

---No, and I don't see myself being arrested at any point in the future.

Have You Ever Felt Lonely?

---Yes and no. Typically, I am by my myself or enjoy being by myself. I hold my space and my solitude very high in my list of priorities. Is that selfish? Maybe, but that is not the question. The kind of lonely where you realize you're alone when you may want to be with someone (no one in particular) is not something I have felt. The kind of lonely where there is a nagging feeling in the back of your mind that you cannot escape, and only feel the weight of everyone's pressures--what you may think are pressures--envelope you and pin you down emotionally with such persistence that you feel like everyone is against you, and none are there to support you...that kind of lonely I have felt. Not often...but that mindset and emotion is something that...I cannot figure out. I'll explain later.

Have You Every Been Depressed?

---Okay, it's later. Depression in itself is an interesting subject. One where I need to be careful that what I'm describing is not Anxiety (both the emotion and the condition), but really is Depression. Just like my previous answer, I see there is a kind of depression where you're just down. it's been a bad day at work/school/wherever, you didn't get much sleep the other night for whatever reason, and the bad things just keep stacking up as the day drags on. That kind of depressed, being down, is something I think we all experience, myself included. After all, we're human. But Depression, what may even be considered Chronic Depression, I am reluctant to say that I do not actually know. Recently, and I mean in the last year or two, I've experienced that feeling I mentioned in my last answer, numerous times. But...it wasn't at random. There was a reason why I felt that way, a very justified reason even looking back on it now. Some might say that's depression, but as I said before, anxiety and depression can be confused. Here is where I am confused. Was I anxious back then? 

Actually...now that I think about it...I've felt that way at random times as well...and I have questioned why before. But I do not know why. And I do not know what this makes me. So, I cannot answer this question in the way that I'd like to. Hm...