I never thought we've come this far. I never thought we'd be this wasy. I never thought you'd care. I never thought I'd love you as much as I do today. I thought it was just a flirtationship. I thought I won't really care. I thought I won't believe you. I thought it will just be for a while. I thought wrong. I expected less. Now I want more. I want more of you, more of us. I want my forever to be with you. You became my bestfriend. My partner. My lover. Now, I love you more than I ever did in my whole life.
Two years ago, I believe fate brought us together. I wasn't really looking for someone, but you came. I wasn't ready. But I wanted it. We flirted. And that time I told myself not to fall for someone like you. I didn't like you. You were boastful and womanizer. But I played the game. I set myself not to involve any emotional attraction with you. I believed in my own theories. But I lost the game.
I fell in love with you. I tried convincing myself that the feeling is wrong. I don't want to get hurt. I'm afraid. So, I believed that it was never too late. Until on the 5th of November, 2011, we commit into a relationship. I have no idea how many girls you had before me, and how many girls you had while you have me, but I know you have a lot. I wanted to go back and not entertain the feelings, but it was too strong. You and your sweet lines became like an addiction to me. I trusted you. I loved you.
You cheated. Not once, not twice, but many times. Why? I did everything to make you happy. You asked me to fight for you, and I did. What did I do wrong? I trusted you and you cheated, and that became a routine. I don't know why I didn't give up that time. Until you hurt me the most that shattered every part of me. This is the part of our story that I still cuts me deep everytime I go back. Maybe I needed that to realize what I needed to do. Again, I asked: What did I do wrong? So, I believed that you needed her more. You love her. So, I let you go.
After almost two months, I thought I have moved on. Besides, you were just a fling back then. We started texting again. And i thought I was really fine, until we saw each other again, a couple of days before our first anniversary. I felt the same feeling. I know I still love you. But I also felt the same pain. It opened and cut me deep once again. I was afraid all over again. But, you told me you love me. You showed me you love me. Then, I believed in you again.
I felt great. It was the most wonderful feeling I had. But I am still afraid until today. And everyday, I'm getting even more scared everyday. I am terrified of the thought that you'll leave me again, that you'll cheat again. I am afraid to lose you again because you are the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me. I know you love me, but I am still scared. I love you so much, that everytime we fight like this, I always go back and reminisce. I look back to the people we used to be, and realize that no matter how mad I am with you, you're still the person that I'd rather fight with everyday, than having someone else. Please never leave me. I am always here.
