Eyes

Lynden

As soon as Sara left, I turned around and punched the wall. It didn't even make a dent, but my fist stung like a bitch.  

"You happy now?" I bitterly asked Alex. I knew how much she hated Sara.

"Of course I'm not! I just thought that you should know the truth!" She yelled back.

"Oh yeah? And how long have you known?" 

"Umm, about 10 minutes before you did, actually." Alex sassed back.

I sat down on my bed next to her. "God." Is all I said. I just wanted to be alone, but I didn't want to ask Alex to leave.

"Come on." She said suddenly, her voice lighter. She grabbed my arm and dragged me towards the door. 

"Where are we going?" I ask, pulling back.

"My parents aren't home." Alex said simply. "And theres a shitload of alchohol. We're going to get drunk and forget there was such a person as 'Sarafina'." 

I knew she was trying to help, but the last thing I wanted to do was get drunk. "Alex.." I said, trailing off.

"Come on. You don't have a choice in this." Alex smiled at me and dragged me out the door. She told my mom we were going to her house and she just nodded, not looking up from her baking.

I was really starting to regret this as we entered her house and she turned music on. She tried to get me to dance but I pulled back forcefully. I'm not a dancer. I never will be. 

Instead I grabbed a bottle of vodka and took a long, hard swig.

"Whoa there, tiger." Alex giggled, taking her own drink. 

An hour later we were completley smashed. We had drank just about the whole house in alchohol. 

We were lying on Alex's bed, and my huge mouth opened and wouldn't shut up. 

"I just thought..." I slurred.

"Yeah?" Alex slurred back, putting my head in her lap.

"I just thought that maybe, I could be happy this once. That she wouldn't hurt me. I mean, since when does Sara hurt anybody?" 

"You know... she didn't mean to. She really regrets it." Alex said softly, dragging her fingers through my short brown hair.

I scoff. "Fucker," Is all I say, taking another swig. 

"I think thats enough.." Alex giggled, taking the bottle from me.

Suddenly she started to laugh and before I knew it, I was laughing right along with her. 

All I wanted to do was do something reckless. I wanted to get Sara back. Show her she didn't have any power over me. Show her she was as useless to me as I apparently was to her.

And I've never noticed before- well, of course I've noticed, I mean, its quite impossible not to- that Alexis was gorgeous. Her clouded green eyes gazed into my hazel ones. Her black makeup was smeared, giving it more of a mysterious look. Thats what she was. Alex was a mystery. And I wanted to figure her out. 

Before I knew it, I was on top of her on the bed, kissing her relentlessly, shoving my tongue into her mouth, biting at her lips. I knew I was being rough but I didn't care. I started kissing down her body and the soft moans she was emitting as I sucked on her skin were addicting. 

I woke up to a bright light streaming straight into my eyes. "Shit," I murmured. My head was pounding. I look over, and- shit. Shit. Oh lord. 

There was Alexis. Completley naked. Sex hair and everything. I looked down at myself, and sure enough- naked as well. 

"SHIT" I cursed softly, dragging my hands through my hair. I can't believe I took advantage of her like that. I was drunk, and right after Sara- breathe. I told myself. Just breathe. 

I couldn't face her. I slowly got out of the bed, careful not to wake her up, and started gathering my clothes. I was right at the door when a groggy voice said; 

"Where are you going?" I turned around to see Alexis, rubbing her eyes. 

"I- I-" I stuttered. I had no idea what to say. What do you say in this kind of situation?

"Its okay, Lynden." She smiled. "You wanted to get over Sarafina, we were drunk.. its okay. It didn't mean anything. We can pretend like it never happened." 

But her smile never quite reached her eyes. I could tell she was hurt, waiting for me to reject her. 

But I didn't know what to do. I just nodded and walked out the door and out her driveway. 

And it occured to me that I didn't want to pretend that that never happened. I wanted it to mean something..