Mind Of Mine

* Dollhouse *

I have faked my smile so many times that I forgot what my real smile looks like.

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there was I time I often faked my smile so I could avoid all those questions

"are you alright?" What's wrong?" are you okay?" did something happend?"

it's easier to fake a smile than to try to explain them why you're sad,

I don't even know what's wrong with me, I don't know why I'm feeling this way I didn't ask for all of this. believe me when I say I wish I could tell you but I have no idea why I'm sad.

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I see forest green eyes staring intently at me searching for something, is there something wrong with me? I keep looking at the girl in front of me who is staring right back at me. She looks beautiful with the red lipstick and the winged eye-liner, but there is something wrong with her smile it looks so forced and her eyes they look so sad.

Jenny!! my mom shouted, I heard my room door open but I ignored it and kept staring at the girl in front of me, why is she looking so sad? i want to help her, make her smile.

are you even listening to me Jenny my mom says irritated, i let a heavy sign escape between my lips.

yes mother, it sounded really emotionless maybe, because that's all that is left in me, my happiness is litterly sucked out of me.

Jenny!! my mom shouts a little louder now this time, stop staring at yourself in the mirror and listen at me! the people will arrive soon i want you to throw on your dress and put on your doll faces

my what? I frowned my eyebrows and gave her a confussed look.

ow you know what I mean, I mean your mask ! Jenny it's a masquerade ball! where did you leave your mind.

I ignored her rude words, but her words stabbed me deep in my heart and left me bleeding.

taking deep breaths while looking at the mirror who reflected a sad girl with a fake smile. slowly like my mom told me "put on your doll faces" I put it on.

hurry now they will be here soon Jenny, get on your place now! where is your brother and your father?! don't they see how important this ball is!! everything must be perfect! i don't want the people looking down on us !Jenny find your brother and your father and tell them if they don't show up in 5 minutes I'm going to brake their cars!

i look away from the mirror and see my mom almost shouting everthing while walking in circles like a dog who is chasing his tail.

before i could say anything the front door bell went off, my mom got quiet like a deer caught in the head lights.

Jenny hurry up and bring those two idiots downstairs! while i check who is standing at the front door! and like that she disappeared.

I started looking for my brother first and walked straight to his hiding place, i run down the stairs while looking for my father to, I passed the living room when I heard weird noises coming from the kitchen. i stopped walking further when the noises became louder.