The darkness fades..

The dark days

"She wakes up, feeling trapped and alone. This depression has over run her life. Fighting for a way out. Can she find it...can she overcome this? "

Sarah Hughes a young adult sinking into the quicksand called depression. Everyday life seems almost impossible. Her life isn't terrible and she has plenty to be thankful for. But she can't breath or eat or sleep. She only holds in tears until the night keeps her company.

                         Sarah's perspective
I used to love waking up in the morning. Now, I wish my body would slip into endless sleep where I don't have to struggle anymore. Fighting with myself is what this is. "Sarah get it together!" I say this to myself  knowing it won't get any easier.
" Sarah!!" My mom calls to me in that tone. I've been sleeping too long into my day and she wasn't having it. "You need to come eat and get ready for work or you are gonna be late!!" I groaned knowing that getting out of bed meant faking a smile and feeling as if my chest was caving in on itself to where I can't breath.
I walk down the stairs slowly but with the mindset of get this day over as quickly as possible.

"Hey sweetheart how are you?" I tell her I'm ok, she knows of my depression but we don't talk about it. No point honestly she doesn't understand.
" I'm fine, I didn't sleep much, just feeling tired."
I say this while sighing already dreading today.
"Breakfast will help, give you some energy for the start of your day." She says this optimistically and I can't help but envy that. Wishing I could feel an ounce of positivity.

"I'm not hungry mom it's ok. I'm just gonna leave for work now." She doesn't like that I didn't eat but it was to late I was already out of the door and walking to work.

11:00 pm that night...
       "Finally I'm home." I say to myself. Today wasn't easy. But neither is any other day. Now this is where insomnia holds me tight and keeps me from getting any sleep at all. It's hard to explain. I fight to get better but at the same time I don't care anymore I know that this fight isn't one I'm going to win. The only positive thing I get to look forward tomorrow is I get to see Amanda.

Amanda is my best friend. My light at the end of the tunnel. She makes me laugh and we don't get to chill everyday but when we do its like the world stops and it's only us. I can actually smile and not fake it with her. She knows everything, all my fears, my insecurities. She makes me laugh. We just get each other. The saddest part is we are going through the same thing. Depression. The monster that was hiding deep inside you that your parents forgot to warn you about. Now he is here and I don't think he is leaving me alone anytime soon. Besides I don't care about him attacking me I just don't want him hurting her anymore.

"Thank you depression." I say this in a quiet whisper. "Thank you for not letting me sleep." 
It's around 5:30am and I finally fall asleep ...to my dreams. The only place where I can want what I know I can't have...