The Sob Stories of Lizzie Emerson (ON HOLD)

5

I remember when I had my first visitor at the rehab center...

September 20, 2014 8:10 AM

I was informed that I had a visitor and I groaned when they automatically turned on the lights in my dorm. Who could be visiting me at this goddamned hour?!

After getting cleaned up and dressed for the day, I walk towards the visiting area with a sliver of hope that it would be my mother. 

I've been here for almost a year and two months, and my father has only visited me three times. One time being when I attempted to cease to exist. It was sad to finally realize that even the only person who you thought that would stick with you through your hardest times, never even tried to see if you were okay.

I doubt that I would forgive my dad for that. I just want to be happy again, to feel whole. I yearned for the feeling of warmth in my whole being, soul to core. Somehow on my journey to "success" I forgot to make sure that I was doing it for myself, and I felt like I wasn't anymore. 

Is it bad to say that I don't want to change my ways?

There's this voice in the back of my head that kept reminding me it was for the better, to repair the burnt bridges and then eventually move on from this shit-storm I call my life. 

I've heard the stories about how you will never lose the obsession with feeling the high, but rather not acting on it you just think about how much it ruined you, your family, and relationships and push the thought aside.

It is not as easy as everyone says it is, I remember when my father had to quit drinking alcohol when I was younger because he had gotten in trouble with the law and I remember him telling me that not to do something that might ruin my life.

As soon as I step into the too clean smelling room and I can see him.

It's him. I couldn't believe my sleep deprived eyes, it was the low-life that dragged me into this mess. Did I mention that I still hate his guts? 

He still has those stupid tattoos, and his stupid blonde hair, and his stupid ocean blue eyes. I bet he still has that loud motorbike. He turned to look at me, I see his expression change from nervous to a look of shock at my appearance.

His eyes fill with unwanted tears as I sat down in front of him he lets out a quiet sob and I winced at the sound. I watch him turn his face away from my annoyed but curious gaze, my eyebrows rose when he opened that sinful mouth of his to speak those permeable words.

"I know what I did was unspeakable but I needed to see your face Elizabeth, I hate myself for what I have said, and made you do. I'm apologizing from the depths of my disturbed heart, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

44 days clean 

"And you're gone, gone, it's no surprise to me, I am my own worst enemy"

Guess who's back, the jerk who ruined Elizabeth's life for the worst. Hello, it's me, I was wondering if you can read story while I jump off a bridge at this reference. But anyways its 2016 you guys! Lord knows I probably will screw up my update schedule as soon as I start post new chapters. There's more to come with visitors and new people joining Liz on her journey. But again thanks for reading! :* :)