Let Me Help - Larry

Louis always knew.

He always knew he could probably be a better friend, a better boyfriend, a better person.

He had a tendency to push away people who cared about him. It wasn't just for no reason though. He just didn't want anyone to get hurt once they found out who he really was.

Most of the time, he sat on the couch or in his room, wallowing in self pity; hating every little bit of himself.

He had Harry of course. That helped sometimes. Sometimes they would have tender moments just sitting around the flat, cuddling or kissing or soft touches walking past each other. They were subtle things that wouldn't mean much to anyone else. To Louis they didn't mean much either, but he could tell Harry needed them. Harry needed more from Louis and Louis didn't have much to give.

x

"What are you thinking about?"

The most common thing Harry ever said to Louis, and the most dreaded. Mostly because Harry always seemed to ask the question when Louis was thinking of something he didn't want to tell.

This certain time, it happened to be when Louis was picking out every little detail of himself that he hated. He did this quite often really.

"Louis?"

Ugh, what now?

"Is something wrong?"

Alright, time to process words. Come on.

"Hm? Oh nothing. Just zoned out I guess..." Louis' voice trailed off and his eyes struggled to stay away from Harry's long toned figure standing in the doorway of the kitchen, wearing only a pair of gray trackies.

Harry slowly pushed his weight off the doorframe and dragged himself across the small room to Louis, who was still staring blankly at the counter top next to the stove. Suddenly he felt two long arms wrap around his middle. He cringed silently.

Don't touch me there you wonderful idiot.

Harry's head rested on Louis' shoulder.

"D'you wanna talk about it?" he mumbled into the dark grey cloth of the shorter man's hoodie.

Louis sighed lightly. He contemplated telling Harry the truth. Of course, as always, his decision was to not tell anyone. Ever.

He brought one hand up to Harry's head to weave his fingers through Harry's not-so-curly hair as the other laid on Harry's own hands around Louis' stomach. He shook his head finally.

"No. Nothin's wrong love. Just didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night." There. That wasn't a complete lie. He didn't really get that much sleep. He never did. The mention of sleep brought a yawn to Louis' mouth, causing Harry to yawn against his neck.

Fuck. I miss him.

"Mmkay. Have you eaten yet? I wanna make breakfast," Harry's voice was tired and scratchy. It always reminded Louis of an old rug, like one he would want in his bookshop that the two boys' flat rested on.

"Alright," Louis answered. He turned around with Harry's arms still on his sides and kissed the taller lad on the lips. When he began to pull away, Harry followed and deepened the kiss. They stood there kissing for a few moments, arms snaking up shirts and hands reaching up to run fingers through locks of messy bed head.

Harry finally pulled back slowly, placing a soft kiss on Louis' forehead before leaning their heads together.

"I miss you Louis."

Louis could see his boyfriend's eyes shut tightly. This caused his forehead to scrunch up which Louis found extremely adorable, but now was not the time for that kind of thinking.