Muse Of A Broken Heart

You Surrender

"surrender"
verb: stop resisting to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi, I am Depression. I am your worst enemy disguised as your best friend.
I make you feel complete as I empty you out. You let me get to you. You dwell in me as I make a home out of you.
I make you leave everyone who you love and who loves you. I make you despise all the things you once craved, the people you loved, yourself...till everything is gone and it's just the two of us.

Then, I call my aide, Anxiety.
Anxiety and I, we torment you.

Remember that time you misplaced a book and just that led to so many irrational thoughts about how you are 'worthless', 'good for nothing' and a 'disappointment' that you slept that night with tear-strained cheeks, soar eyes and three deep, crimson scars on you wrist? We did that.
We made you isolate yourself, we make you debate in your head over the petty things, we made you question your value, your worth, your pride, we make you who you are and who you're going to be.

Sweetheart, don't be misled by what other people say. They never cared for you anyway. We are what's good for you. We make you realise WHAT YOU ARE (even if that's a useless piece of shit). We bring you down from that cloud you were floating on, the one your family and friends set you upon. We bring you where you're supposed to be (even if that's hell).

You used to love basketball, didn't you? You know why you stopped playing? Because We made you realise that you're no good (even if others say you are) and that you're not improving either, so what's the point of playing, really? Logical, isn't it?
You loved all that buzz of new clothes and shopping, didn't you? You know why you hate it now? Because We made you realise all the faults in your face, your appearance, your body and how you're not good enough to wear the clothes you want to.

Those online tests you took last night, the ones that diagnosed you with us, they were right. But sweetheart, what can you do about it? We make it impossible for you to come out to anyone. The CBT apps you downloaded the day before, what's the use of those? At this stage, we are so strong that nothing can get you rid of us. We are deep rooted in you. We are your better part. To kill us, you have to die and that is exactly what happens.

You surrender.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

just an analogy of what it feels like to have depression and an anxiety disorder, i have/had neither of them, this is only my imagination.

ps: 104 reads in one day! that's crazy! thank you!

comment, vote and constructively criticise. :)