Akumal

Unpacking it all

Keep reading and suggesting things, or start doing that! I need lots of ideas!!!!!!!!

-Akumal

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Present

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I sighed, staring at the terribly pink room. Where did I go from here? I had no idea. It was... pink. Like, really really pink. I pulled out my phone, planning to text Alana, then decided against it. She didn't want to talk to me now. I had really hurt her in so many ways, and I just knew she wasn't going to respond.

Suddenly, I felt my mother's quiet presence behind me. "That's quite pink," she commented. I smiled a little and turned slightly so I could see her. She looked at my sad face with worry. "Honey, I'm sorry we had to leave, but..." she didn't even finish. I sighed and went to go sit back on the bed. I was exhausted. It had been a realllllyyyyy long trip. First we dropped my mom's old car off at my dad's house, then we boarded a plane to MA, then we rented an old jeep to get to my grandma's.

My mom followed me in after a moment and sat beside me. She looked up at the ceiling and didn't say anything. I suddenly remembered the broken turtle necklace in my pocket. I pulled it out, the shiny pendant on the thin chord with the broken clasp. It had hurt a lot when I pulled that off, but not as much as my insides had been hurting. I wanted to break out and cry again, but my tear ducts were just so dry now that I couldn't. It sucked that I still wanted to cry, and also that I couldn't cry. The frosted piece of blue seaglass was still trapped inside the turtle's stomach, like an animal in a cage. That's exactly how I felt at the moment.

"Your grandma offered to help you redecorate, if you wanted," my mom said. I didn't say anything. I didn't want to even think about the fact that I would now live here and I had to make it seem like home. Not easy. Doable, maybe.

I breathed in and out deeply. "Ok." I finally said. Mom, however, still didn't leave. Her head turned to the pendant I was flipping around in my hand.

"We can get that fixed if you want," she commented. I nodded. I really did want that. I had broken it when I was angry, on an impulse. Now I regretted it. She held out her hand slowly and I placed the necklace in her palm. Her fingers coiled around it, and I watched it disappear into her closed fist. Even if it was fixed, I was never going to wear it again. It was too painful to bring back the memory I was trying so hard to forget.

Finally, my mom stood up and sighed. She looked down at me, as if she was going to say something. Her mouth opened and closed, her tongue trying to find the right words. "I'm sorry," she said finally.

I didn't look at her, just looked down. When she breathed out, her breath wavered slightly, as if icy cold air was burning her throat. "Would you help me unpack? We have an awful lot of bags," she said.

I thought about that for a moment. Sitting here feeling sorry for myself wasn't doing me any good. I looked up at her and nodded. Then I stood and followed her outside again. My grandma was there, helping to unload the trunk. When she saw that I had come out, she gave me one of those gigantic grandma smiles. She placed the bag she was holding down on the ground and held her arms out to me. Slowly I walked towards her and half-heartedly hugged her. It wasn't that I didn't want to hug her, just that I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to leave everything behind and start again in some strange town in this tiny state. And I was definitely not looking forward to jumping into the middle of 9th grade right now.

By the time grandma let me go, I had time to think about a whole list of terrible things that could happen to me in an actual high school. I wasn't going to be home schooled anymore. Plus, nobody would be interested in the same things as me (ie surfing). Grandma still had that smile plastered on her face as she said "I'm so glad you decided to join us!"

I gave her a half-smile and went to the trunk of the old jeep. I almost smiled when I remembered the hassle that the airline had given us about using boxes instead of bags. They forced us to stop and buy actual bags from the airline gift shop before we could get on the plane. Hey, we had never traveled before!

I lifted a bag out of the trunk that was labeled as mine and went to set it on the porch. Once all the bags were brought into the house, I grabbed it and brought it into "my room" where I placed it on "my bed". I unzipped it and hesitantly looked inside. A pink bow bikini sat on top of everything inside. I pulled it out and admired it in the light. Then I began putting away all my clothes from Hawaii in the empty bureau drawers. As I went back to get more from my bag, I noticed something I hadn't seen before. A folded yellow tinted note sat wedged in the corner of my bag. How had I not noticed that when I switched the bags? It must have fallen out of one of my pockets in my packed clothes. I curiously picked it up and unfolded it:

Kai,

The moment I found out you were moving, my heart shattered. I overheard your mom saying it, even before you knew about it. So I broke up with you, so you wouldn't have to worry about me when you left. I wanted you to enjoy your new home and not be sad. I have faith that you will find someone who loves you more than I did. It wasn't anything you did, and I don't want you to feel that way. I just didn't want you to hurt forever. But I will always love you.

Immediately my eyes welled with tears. He thought that breaking up with me wouldn't cause me to hurt forever? I wish he was here so I could smack him. And then he said that he loved me. I regretted thinking about hitting him immediately.

He didn't want me to think about him? He just wanted me to move on?

He was sweet, yet his words confused me. I didn't want to move on.

I closed the note and jammed it into my diary, which just so happened to be the next thing in the bag. Yes, I know, I'm much too old for a diary. But in reality, I had weighed the pros and cons and I really wanted to be able to look back on all the important moments in my life and be able to help my future children past problems in their future lives. And that seemed better than calling it childish and never trying it, just in case.

I put the diary on a shelf on the pretty white bookcase standing next to me, sighing as it was the first step to moving into my new home.