Stay With Me

Letters

After three months without him, three months of pure torture, three months of crying alone, of shutting everyone out, she finally had him back. She would hold onto him for the rest of their lives, she would never let him go.

Emma and Killian went back to their apartment after Granny's.  Once again, she carried all of his bags upstairs despite his protests.  Killian stepped in the house and inhaled.  The atmosphere was dark, it didn't have its usual feeling of joy and warmth with cinnamon.  He looked at Emma, who was self consciously looking around the room, checking to make sure everything was perfect for his return.  He stepped up behind her and grabbed her waist, pulling her into him.
"Swan, everything is fine.  I'm fine.  I'm home, and I am never leaving." She looked up to him with unshed tears in her eyes and nodded.
"I missed you, I missed you so much." She bent her head up towards him so she could kiss him.  Their lips met and Emma felt the spark that happened whenever she touched him.  He grabbed her waist and then the kiss became so intense that Emma got pushed back against the door.  She laughed and pushed him back.  Despite being pushed back, her laugh was something so elusive that he treasured that moment.
"The doctor said nothing strenuous, and if this keeps up, it will turn very strenuous.  I'll go make a bowl of popcorn and turn on Netflix, you can bring your bags to the bedroom." He nodded and she kissed him once more before he grabbed his bags and walked to their bedroom.  Emma put the popcorn in the microwave with a smile on her face.  She danced in the kitchen while the microwave was counting down.

He walked in the bedroom.  The blinds were closed, and everything was spotless except the endless build up of tissues on the floor.  It made his heart drop.  He put his bags on the bed before turning around, about to walk out.  Something caught his eye, a glimmer of gold on the desk.  He walked towards it slowly, finding the compass that brought them together.  She hadn't had that before he was gone.  As he held it in his hands, he noticed the envelopes scattered all over the desk addressed to K.  There was one on the desk that wasn't in an envelope and he picked it up after his curiously got the best of him. Her perfect handwriting was in scribbles and there were a few places where the ink was smeared, tear stains.

Dear Killian,

I'm starting to lose all of my hope.  I never had much to begin with, and for that, I apologize.  I just want you to wake up, to be beside me when I wake, to lay beside me when I sleep.  I need the assurance that you will be okay.  I don't know how much-

"Killian?" Emma's voice was shy and quiet. He looked up to see her standing in the doorway looking at him with fear in her eyes. She walked towards him slowly.
"You weren't supposed to see those. I..." She closed her eyes and stopped, her lips wavering. Seeing her like this, so fragile, so human, it pained him. He stood up quickly and went to her, wrapping his arms around her tightly and whispering words of comfort in her ear.
"Emma, it's okay. Everything will be okay now. Just let it out." He knew she hated crying, but it had to be let out. She slowly let out whimpers that turned into sobs as she let herself be enveloped by Killian and his scent that she had missed so dearly. After about ten minutes she pulled back, her eyes red and puffy, her cheeks tear stained.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be crying." She wiped her nose and turned away, but Killian grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him.
"Emma, if I had spent two months without you I would've died. You are so incredibly strong and beautiful and I could never live without you. Please, don't apologize for letting out your sorrow." She smiled at him weakly.
"Come on, let's go watch a funny movie." He nodded and she pulled his hand back into the hallway to the living room. The letter had been placed back on the desk as with the compass, and Killian made a mental note to steal the letters while Emma was gone at work one day. He knew she wouldn't like it, but he wanted to go through all the pain that he had put her through.  As if somehow he could've prevented himself from going into a coma, as if somehow it was his fault.  Even though it wasn't, he didn't want to know that he was the one who gave Swan all her pain.