It was the second time that he fckn kissed me. At hanggang ngayon ay iba parin talaga yung nararamdaman ko. It was so wrong but it felt so right. Ayaw ko na kasing umasa. Ayaw ko nang masaktan. I gave Ralph a chance, kasi I wan't to love him. But it seems like I was just using him para makalimutan si Renz. And I knew how wrong it was. So wrong.
"Ralph?" I said as I looked at the corners of the room. This is where we usually hang out when we're bored or sad. It's the library. Me and Ralph loves to read. Whether it's educational, horror, mysteries, comedy or even romantic. You name it.
"Ralph?" I whispered again. But I was so dissapointed when I saw no tracks of him there. Nasaan kaba Ralph? Lumabas ako ng library at pumunta sa garden. The same garden where Renz kissed me. And nandoon nga siya. Nakaupo sa ilalim ng puno. Nakapikit but nakakunot yung noo. Umupo ako sa tabi niya without making any sound. Mukhang napansin niya na may tumabi sa kanya kasi dumilat siya at humarap sa akin, nakakunot parin yung noo niya.
"What are you doing here?" Matigas niyang tanong. Hinawakan ko yung braso niya pero tinabig lang niya yung kamay ko. Nagulat ako pero hindi ko iyon pinahalata sa kanya. He had the right to act like this. Nasaktan ko nanaman siya.
"Ralph naman. Pansinin mo na ako oh" and then naiyak na ako. Ayaw ko ng ganito. My life is too messed up. I can't loose Ralph. Not now. Not ever.
"P-palagi nalang akong nasasaktan Crystal" he said and cried too. Niyakap ko siya and hinalikan siya sa noo. Ralph is sensitive and emotional. That's why I like him, he's not ashamed to show the world who he really is.
"Sssshhh. I'm sorry for hurting you again Ralph" sabi ko at sumandal sa dibdib niya. He was no longer crying but hindi niya parin ako kinikibo.
"Take a chance on me Crystal. Hindi naman kita sasaktan eh" sabi niya at pinaharap ako sa kanya. Ralph is a good guy, mabait, sweet and I know mahal niya ako. Hindi niya ako sasaktan. I'll learn to love him, alam kong kaya ko. He's perfect.
"Yes Ralph. I'm taking a chance on you" sabi ko at niyakap siya. He hugged be back so tight. Yung tipong ayaw na ayaw kana niyang papakawalan pa. And from this day on, pipilitin ko nang mahalin si Ralph. Because alam kong hinding-hindi niya ako sasaktan.
The bell rang which means we have to separate our ways. I kissed his cheeks before pumasok sa room. People gave me a confused look, lalo na si Renz. But hindi ko siya pinansin.
"Are you and Ralph..dating?" Petrelle asked. My new seatmate. And I poudly nodded.
"Damn you're so lucky" she said and tapped my shoulders and shrugged. Yes. So freakin' lucky!
Ms. Padua went inside our room and tinawag kami ni Renz. Geez! This is so awkward.
"Yes Ma'am?" I asked her as soon as nakalapit ako sa kanya. Nasa likuran ko naman si Renz and I know sa akin din siya nakatingin.
"I heard natapos niyo na yung sayaw niyo para sa Mr. and Ms. Hearts 2015?" Me and Renz both nodded. Tapos nanga kami but I don't know if kaya ko pa iyong sayawin. I don't want to be his partner. Gusto ko na siyang kalimutan.
"Do you mind kung ipe-present niyo 'yon ngayon dito?" Ma'am said and raised her eyebrow. I was about to hesitate but Renz already said yes which made Ma'am smile. Minsan lang ngumiti si Ma'am kaya natuwa ako nung nakita ko siyang ngumiti.
But what!? Ipresent DITO, NGAYON yung sayaw nayun? But then, um-Oo na si Renz eh so I have no choice. Kahit na magiging awkward ito. Ugh. Buti nalang may suot akong cycling shorts sa ilalim ng skater skirt ko.
Nagsimula na kaming sumayaw when the music played. We were so damn serious. Pati yung mga kaklase namin. The dance was so hot and intense at naala ko ulit yung hinalikan niya ako dun sa garden at kanina. What the fck was wrong with me? He kept on hurting me pero bakit palagi ko siyang iniisip? Bakit!? Kahit na bawal bakit ko siya palaging iniisip?
I wrapped my arms around his neck and lumapit pa ako sa kanya until we were inches apart. He also wrapped his arms around my waist and pinulupot ko yung right kong leg sa kaliwa niyang paa. Sht!
"Crystal" bulong niya. Pumikit ako at hindi nalang siya pinansin. Kasi kapag pinansin ko siya, he might break these walls that I'm trying to build.
"Please, pansinin mo ako" sabi niya pa and he actually tried to pinch me. I glared at him at tinulak siya. Mukhang nagulat siya so I stopped the music. Tinignan kami nila Maam at nung mga kaklase ko na mukhang nagulat din sa ginawa ko but hindi ko nalang sila pinansin.
"S-sorry. K-kulang pa kasi kami sa practice. Aayusin lang namin to. E-excuse me" sabi ko and walked out. Nagmadali akong pumunta sa quadrangle at dun umiyak sa pinakadulong bleacher. And this time, no one chased me. No one stopped me.
Bakit nanaman ba ako umiyak? Ang tanga to talaga! Bakit ba kasi ako nasasaktan? Why do I feel so betrayed? Hindi naman siya akin diba?
I cried and cried hanggang sa yung mata ko na yung kusang gumive-up. Wala na kasing luhang tumutulo. Napapagod narin kasi akong umiyak. Siguro pinagtatawanan na nila ako ngayon. Hah! I cried for the same boy over and over again.
When I was ready to go back ay tumayo na ako at inayos yung uniform ko. Pumunta muna ako sa Comfort Room at nag retouch.
"Hello Crystal" Jessie said in her most sarcastic tone. Kanina pa ba siya dito? Hindi ko siya napansin ah? Hindi ko nalang siya pinansin at inayos nalang yung mga gamit ko sa bag. It's such a waste of time kung papatulan ko pa siya. Tinignan ko siya sa reflection niya sa mirror at ngumiti nalang.
"Stop playing miss-goodie-two-shoese here! Alam kong nasasaktan ka! You're hurt and you want revenge! But don't you dare use Ralph as a rebound because he does not deserve to be used. He fckn loves you Crystal! My cousin loves you at ayaw kong ginagamit lang siya. I may be a bitch but I'll be the only bitch who would be bitchin' my cousin" she said and walked out. Mindblown. Sht! Magpinsan sila? Bakit hindi ko alam? Oh god. Kaya pala kapag naiinis ako kay Jessie at sakanila ako naglabas ng sama ng loob ay hindi nalang sumasabat si Ralph. Oh gosh! Pero bakit hindi iyon sinabi ni Ralph sa akin? Nagmadali akong lumabas at hinabol si Jessie pero wala na siya dun. Nandun na siguro sa classroom.
Tahimik akong naglakad papunta sa classroom. Lahat sila nakatingin sa akin. I just looked down at hindi nalang sila pinansin.
"Hey" sabi ni Petrelle nung nasa tabi niya na ako. Tinignan ko na lang siya at ngumiti.
"Alam mo, hindi na kita nakikitang ngumiti. I mean-- yung totoo mong ngiti. We've been friends since high school Crystal kaya kilalang-kilala kita. And right now, I know how badly hurt you are. But I understand you because masakit naman talaga 'yon. Just.. be ready to listen to them? And when you do, smile. Because nami-miss ko na yung totoong ikaw. No more hiding of pain. Cry. Because it's okay. I'm always here for you" she said and hugged me. Bakit niya nasabing nasasaktan ako? But wala naman kasi akong nagawa kundi yakapin siya pabalik.
"Thank you Petrelle" I whispered to her.
Maybe it's time to listen to what they can say. Maybe it was time to let go of Renz. It was time to move-on. And it was time to love Ralph.
****
Yey. Finally updated Chapter 32 as requested by Petty_relle . There you go Loves :*. Hoped you like it.
BINABASA MO ANG
Always the Bestfriend, Never the Girlfriend
Teen Fiction"A guy and a girl can be just friends..but at one point or another, they will fall for each other. maybe temporarily, maybe in the wrong time, maybe too late...or maybe, FOREVER" Crystal Jade Parker fell in love with her best friend. Clarrence Matt...
