World On My Shoulders

Missin In Action✌

"What you get on your report card Donnie?" My friend Rashad asked. We were all on the bus headed home. The school bus was filled with sad faces because it was report card day. The kids that would normally be loud and playing, were sitting quietly staring out the window. "Straight A's as usual nigga! What about you?" I said with laughter. The other kids on the bus looked at me with envy. "One A , 3 B's, 2 D's, and an F." Rashad replied with confidence. His foster parents had so many children that they over looked Rashad and never checked his report card. "Come on Shad you gotta get them D's and F's outta there!" I nagged. He waved me off playfully. We rode the rest of the ride quietly. I was eager to get home and show my mom my report card.

"Ma! Guess what!" I yelled as I walked into my house. I roamed through the house in search of my mama, but she was no where to be found. The clock read 4:15, she should've been home 2 hours ago. Something felt awkward, but I pushed the feeling away with rational thoughts. "She probably getting in some overtime." I thought to myself. I clamped my report card to the refrigerator then headed back to my room. I quickly changed out of my uniform then left the house to pick the twins up from school.

"Come on give up the goods! Where are y'all report cards?" I pressured Loren and Landen. They both held their heads down. I already knew what that meant. "Come on yall got to do better, if not for your selves do it for mama." I said, then we continued the rest of the walk home in silence. My mind was facing with hopes of my mom being there when we returned.

"Ma." I called out again. But It was too avail. She still wasn't home. It was now 7:30 and the restaurant she works at closes at 6. "Where ma?" The twins asked in unison. "Working late, she'll be here before you wake up don't worry." I reassured them, but I didn't even believe those words. I had to do something about their questioning faces. That excuse had stalled them off long enough until bedtime. Then more questions came. "Donnie, I'm scared. Mama doesn't ever work this late." Landen said. I satbat the foot of his bed. "Everything is alright. Just go to sleep." I said then hugged him and quickly left the room. I was beyond scared, I was petrified. But I had to keep it together for the twins. So I cleaned up the house like normal then sat in the living room and waited for my mom to come home.

Before I knew it, it was 5:00 am and time to get ready for school. I had been waiting up all night and still had seen no sign of mom. I started to have an anxiety attack. My palms started to sweat. I rushed to the twins room. "Get up. Come on hurry up." I startled them out of bed. I had them ready to go in 20minutes. I bombarded them with things to do , so that they would pound me with their questions. We all left the house and went our separate ways, the twins went to school, and I went on a scavenger hunt for my mom.

I got on a bus and headed to my moms job in Compton.
I tried to avoid eye contact but the driver kept looking directly at me. She was a big dark skinned lady, with a gold tooth, a short hairdo, and a Bluetooth in her ear. She was twirling a blowpop in her mouth with her long red nails.
"You look like Loucinda. Do you know her?" The driver asked. My eyes lit up with satisfaction. Maybe she could tell me where she last seen her. "Yea she's my mom. Have you seen her lately?" I asked excitedly. The lady scanned me over suspiciously. "Mhm, she got off on a different stop than usual yesterday. And she would normally ride my 7:00 on her way to work. Is something wrong?" The driver asked. My heart started to beat rapidly.
" what stop did she get off at yesterday?" I asked.
"Actually she got off here. Said she had some business to take care of. Then walked about three blocks." The driver said as she pulled the bus over. "Thanks Ms.-"
"Ms Hall baby"
"Thanks Ms. Hall." I said then rushed off he bus.

I emerged onto the cold, ghetto street. It was Alabama street, and it was filed with vacant houses and roaming people. I was suddenly overwhelmed with fear. Junkies were up and out early. I walked cautiously down the street. My roaming eyes scanned over a familiar face. It was Ms Lisa. (1st picture)Ms Lisa was a friend of my mothers who frequently did drugs. When she was sober she was like an aunt to us, but when she was high, she was evil. I was relieved and skeptic about seeing her in the last place my mother was seen. I need wanted my mom to hang out with Ms Lisa with the fear of my mom leaving us like Ms Lisa left her kids.

"Ms Lisa!" I called her name as I ran up to her. She looked startled to see me.
"Lil Loucinda! Girl what you doing out here?" Ms Lisa said loudly. Everyone on the street looked in my direction. "Ms Lisa I'm looking for my mama have you seen her?" I said quietly.
"Yeaaa Girl! She round' the corner!" She yelled again with laughter.
"Could you take me to her?" I asked , trying my best to make myself seem helpless.
"Come on girl!" She said then started to weirdly walk away. I followed behind her for nearly 8 minutes until we started to walk up the driveway of a run down house. My heart started to beat heavily.
"Cinda! Girl yo nappy head ass daughter out here!" She yelled in tremendous laughter. "Go on , she back there." Lisa said to me. I hesitated then slowly started to walk towards the back of the house. It was filled with filth, and the walls were dirty and grimy. When I reached the room where my mother was I closed my eyes then said a quick prayer before looking at her. When I opened my eyes they almost overflowed with tears.(2nd picture) My mother looked no different from the average junkie on the street. She didn't even look like the rare Barbadian women she was.
"Ma, come on. Get up, we gotta go home." I said , my voice choking. She turned over on the mattress she was laying on on the floor, and yawned.
"Girl what is your hard headed ass doing here?" She said dryly. I could smell the stench of her breath from the door.
"Ma we were worried sick about you. The twins cried their selves to sleep last night."I said, tears escaping my eyes.
"Look, I been stressing for y'all for too long. Its time I live for me! Have me some fun. I raised you tough enough to handle anything." She protested as she sat up on the bed and lit a cigarette.
"Ma please don't do this! We need you. How am I supposed to take care of the twins alone?"I pleaded with her.
"Girl hush that crying! You ain't no punk. Now get out of here! Trying to make me feel bad, before you blow my high! And don't come back around here no more!" She screamed at me. My heart shattered. I wanted to plead with her, but the cold look on her face read that it would be no use. I turned around and got ready to make my exit, when I saw my moms purse sitting in the corner. I counted to three In my head then dashed towards her purse. I grabbed it and ran out of the door, out of the house, and down the street. I made it to the corner just in time for the bus and hopped on. I sat in a seat in the back and stared out of the window. The world is on my shoulders now