Never Let Me Go

Wednesday

------Authors Note---------

The first part Found was in the present, the second part Our Song in the past, and now this 

 part is in the present

--------------------------------

It was now the middle of July, 

the daffodils blooming,

orange,

yellow,

glory.

I looked off into the distance towards his left, hoping not to connect with his eyes. I watched the green bushes blend into the yellow daffodils two feet below. All my surroundings blurred together, as if I had just  woken up and forgotten to rub my eyes clean. I looked around, pretending to occupied with the screaming children running around behind his back. I watched a little blonde girl fall, the curls that were once tight to her head now resting limply on her neck. I saw her mother in a horribly matched red blouse and blue jeans outfit, run to the little girl's aid. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, the smell of summer making its way to the blood coursing in my veins. I forcefully opened my eyes, my cheeks blushing a furious red, and my jaw shaking as I gazed back into his breathtaking brown eyes.

I don't know how long I had stayed staring in his direction, since by that time he had suddenly disappeared. I frantically squinted my eyes to see if I had gone blind, or if he'd actually left. Relief flooded my heart as it fluttered in my chest, and calmed into my regular pulse. I shook my head in disbelief of my hallucination, but something in my demeanor had changed. It was as if I was actually sad, that he wasn't there. I had thought that for the first time in many many months, Shawn kept his promise. Disappointed yet oddly relieved, I sat down next to the yellow daffodils and began to listen to music.

I felt a strong hand, lightly rest on the middle of my bony shoulder. If it had been a stranger, I would've immediately swat their hands away in fright and ran. Something felt familiar about this hand, the palm strong yet soft to the touch. I scrunched my nose and squeezed my eyes tight, trying to wake up from this dream. This couldn't be happening, this couldn't be reality. I wouldn't let it be.

He crouched down to my sitting height and tentatively yet sweetly whispered "Delilah," into my ear. My stomach turned inside out as my guts created a bouncy house out of my insides. I took only a few minutes to register his presence, before turning around and staring outwards towards  his left once more. 

"Shawn," I said breathily, forgetting the imprint his face had made on my heart, the burnt scar he visibly left on my mind. The words felt slippery on my tongue, if I said it to fast I was afraid it would slip out and get lost forever. I looked at his shirt, watching the soft, almost silky fabric go towards his muscular abs as he inhaled. 

"I've been meaning to come, you know," he sighed, his breath catching as he spoke the last word.

"Doesn't seem like you have," I say, exhaling quickly, and turning my sight upwards as not to tear up.

"Don't say that. You know I've been busy, and I know I made promises I couldn't keep but-- but I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere," he searched for my eyes as he knew that once our eyes met, they could not be separated. 

"Do you even know how long I waited for you? The days, the months, all the times I've sat here like an idiot waiting for you to show up, when I know that every second of every day, you're out there preforming for girls you don't even know. Do you know that I've come here so many times, I consider this home. Do you realize how childish that is? Do you know how stupid I look and feel when I go to a restaurant and ask for a table for two, when I know that you're never going to sit with me? That nobody is ever going to sit with me? Do you know how hurtful it is to order a small size popcorn, just for yourself? Do you know that I still live in our house, keeping it clean for when you come back? Do you know how many--" Shawn closed his warm hands on top of mine, sandwiching them in a world of comfort.