Let Me Slit My Wrists

Chapter Five

I had History after lunch. Nothing like learning about dead guys. My seat was right next to the window in this class though, which I appreciated.
It was raining again. Seems like it hasn't stopped since Tuesday. It's Friday now. The small droplets skidded in various paces down the windows. The clouds dark and gloomy. My favorite type of weather. One that hides the annoying, bright sun. I used to like the sun when I was kid a lot though. I remember the first time my parents and brother and I went to the beach together when I was nine.

. . . . . .

"Daddy! Daddy! Put some on me next!" I yelled excitedly, showing my dad my bare back. He chuckled, smirking warmly at me.
"Alright Reina. Careful it's gonna be cold." He said, spraying the freezing sunscreen on my back as I jumped.
"Ah! Cold! Cold!" My brother, Lucas laughed and my mom pushed up her sunglasses with a giggle.
That day we laughed and played together. Lucas stabbed me with his popsicle and I threw seaweed on him. It was really fun.

I don't know why that memory suddenly popped into my head, but I knew those gleeful, sunny times were over. Lucas graduated high school and went to college when I was fourteen. That was two years ago and since he left, mom began drinking again and lost her job as a bartender for stealing liquor. Dad started working double jobs and now I rarely see him. Lucas rarely visits now but I heard he got engaged or something. Good for him. Would've been nice to find out from him though.
The rain seemed to subside slightly, the droplets talking longer to appear. Mrs. Repps was going on about some Winston Churchill guy, but I kinda tuned her out. My thoughts drifted to my wrist. I wanted it. The red line to deepen. Blood flowing freely from my body. I fidgeted in discomfort in my seat, knowing I'd have to wait. I couldn't go to the nurse again or else I might risk another evaluation for mental disorders. Nurse Tiff was someone I didn't mind though out of everyone else. She seemed to care. But...my wrist drew me in more. God, when will this day end so I can go home and use those scissors?